I Lost My Older Bro

I lost my older brother.  One day I was at my friends house playing and my parents suddenly rushed over to tell me my brother had fallen down a mountain and was dead.  It's been almost eight years since he passed away and I still think about it almost every day.
He was the only family member I was close to, and it still feels like I'm wandering through time and space as
a lonely stranger, especially since I hardly speak to my parents anymore and have a completely different life then I expected.
I didn't just lose my bro the day he died, I lost the sense of family, regardless of how tiny that feeling was to begin with.
Most of my girlfriends have older brothers and talk about them all the time.  I always feel a pang of sadness and wander what he would be like,
and what I would be like.  But I can barely imagine life any other way then what it is now, maybe because his death made  me who I am today and I wouldn't take what it took to get here back. 
satelliteoflove satelliteoflove
22-25, F
16 Responses Jul 20, 2011

I feel your pain me and my auntie was close where like the best of friends and when she died I cried I do my best to remember the good times when had and she pop in on me from time to time to make me laugh if you want im here for you if you want to talk

I know that feeling, my Brother passed away 8 years ago. R. I. P

Remember that as long as your brother is in your heart, he is ALIVE. The physical body is nothing but a short comparison to the power of love. <br />
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My favorite uncle died 21 years ago, and still, I miss him. I've concluded, after all this time, that I will ALWAYS miss him. 21 years is nothing in the face of eternity when you love someone. <br />
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Neither are the nine years since your brother's passing. <br />
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If you believe in God (whatever form He or She takes for you) and the powers of the Universe, KNOW that your brother is right alongside. <br />
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Whenever you feel sadness of his loss over come you: Stop! Close your eyes. Breath in and remember your brother's embrace. Savor it. Now open your eyes. Notice that a feeling of comfort will remain. See that the world has taken on a different hue - all because of your brother. He has painted the sky for you. <br />
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THAT is the power of love. <br />
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God loves you and remain blessed.

That was very beautiful, thank you. :)

I'm sorry that you lost your brother; I almost lost mine once and I can't imagine what that would have been like.<br />
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You noted a very valid point: we are the culmination of all our experiences. Sometimes tragedy or pain can inspire us to live life more abundantly, strive harder and aim higher. Out of the dark comes forgotten light. The loss of your brother has shaped you, but don't let it define you. Reach out to those around you so they can lift you when you need it :)

Life can be so rotten sometimes, for all sorts of reason. Try to take it one day at a time and remember the good times you had. I hope you find tranquility.

I lost my older brother 17 years ago in an accident. I too wonder all the time what it would be like, and how different life would be with him here. I suffered with mental issues the years following his death. I was 15 at the time. I am now 32 and I still think about him all the time. Somethings get easier in life but theres an emptiness that will never go away. I do know though, that your brother, just like mine, would only want you to be happy. I truly know this, and knowing it, i was able to move on. Not forget... but move on... and know that one day we will meet again. Take care and be strong :)

I know what it's like to lose someone you are close to. The only family member I was close to was my grandfather and he died when I was 11. I have pretty much been on my own since then. I lost my brother too the day he got married, his wife forbid him to talk to me and between the two of them they turned my dad against me too. So yea loss and dealing with it is never easy and never will be easy either. It's been almost 26 years since my Gramps has been residing his "heavenly abode" and I still miss him like crazy. <br />
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Maybe if you do the things you both enjoyed (when your brother was with you) could help. My grandfather and I would make up bedtime stories right up till the day he died and I went on to becoming a writer. He encouraged my music talent too and I play the piano, guitar and sing and both these things make me feel closer to him. <br />
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I hope you find your peace. I know it's a hard and bumpy ride.

i've lost two brothers. Prayers and journaling have helped in the healing process.Take it one day at a time. My prayer are with you.

Im truely sorry about the loss of your brother.


I also lost my brother some years ago that left me utterly bereft, life has never been the same since. The feeling of being alone never leaves me, he was the last of my family as both parents are dead and I lost my soul partner to cancer. I think it was John Lennon who said that "no one is really dead so long as there is someone who remembers them" All I have left now are the memories of the life I had. I try and keep positive and to look forward to the future, but it ain't easy.

I cannot comprehend what it must be like to be in your shoes. It must be hard and frustrating to have lost someone so close to you, yet I say that you should honor his memory by being the best you are at every point in your life. By living your life to the fullest you can, because all life is precious. Talk to your family, your friends. Seek support from them, even if your ties are slim. I'm sure that they will be there for you.

I am very sory for your brother but, he is very far away from you but you must care for those who are still in your reach please

My brother died at 3 years old before i was born, i didn't even get to met him and i wonder too what he would be like if he was still alive, After he died there are only sisters left so i wonder what it would be like to have a big brother. I know how it destroyed my parents especially my dad my heart goes out to anyone who has lost someone close to them. x

I feel the same way! I lost my older sister 7 years ago. I feel so alone. Especially because my friends all have siblings that they talk about and do things with. I feel so alone.

:( I'm sorry. I know it sucks, especially when they tell stories and your just sitting there thinking what it would be like . . . I hope it gets easier for you someday

You hang in there! God bless you!