Broken Wings

i lost somone very important to me last summer in june my younger sister was killed by a stray bullet during a drive by shooting,we live in a nice neighborhood but its had its share of drive-by's,burglaries,thefts,assaults.i guess its cuz we we live so close to the "ghetto".it was the worst time of my life when it happened,i just froze and was shocked,i couldnt move,my heart literally ached.i couldnt believe it,my world came crashing down and i remember just feeling an overwhelming sense of grief and just breaking down crying.it was june 6,2006 it was nice out,it was sunny it seemd normal.i didnt know waking up that day that my life would change forever.i got up and got ready for the day,my sister wanted to go to the park so i told her to get ready and we would go,i was very close to my sis i loved her to death.we left the house about 11:30 am and started walking we were walking for about 10 mins. and we were almost there,then i remembr hearing people yellin and arguing and a group of guys behind us yelling at a car.the car stopped,backed up and sped forward and started firing.the group of guys were running and running toward our direction to get away from the car,i saw them coming i grabbed my sisterand tried to shield her,i fell and i heard the bullets go rite by me...then it was quiet i thought we were okay then there was blood on my hand and shirt i looked at my sister,she was bleeding from the stomach,i panicked i grabbed my cell and called 911 as she lay on the ground pale and shivering,i tried o stop the bleeidn the whole time i was praying to god please god please dont let her die,i was crying i kept telling her i loved her.then she stopped breathing...i knew she was dead but i kept talking to her like it was gonna be okay.i screamed and cried when reality sank in,my heart felt liek it was going to tear everyhtinh seemd like a nightmare but it was all real.she was only 8 years old and had everything going for her.ever since ive felt incomplete,guilty thinking maybe i coulda done sumthin different i could have protected her better,its my fault...people tell me its not but inside of me i feel it is..i wish it was me instead of her,i ask god why he took her instead of me.i now have to live with it everyday,and live with this grief that someone took away a part of me,my sister she was a part of me.i feel broken still like i have broken wings and cant get up and fly anyymore.
bballroxmysox17 bballroxmysox17
18-21, F
5 Responses May 1, 2007

What a trauma you had to go through.. I understand the feeling "why didn't God take me instead", and feeling like I should have done or said something.. (before the person died). I don't think I can possibly understand the pain and shock you felt when your sister was shot and died. I am so sorry.

I wanted you to know i am here for you.<br />
And me to i am sorry for your lost.<br />
I know it is hard. <br />
Hang in there.

I'm so sorry, You have to forgive yourself, you would have done anything to save your sister. I'm crying for your loss, I have three sisters and they are my best friends. Hugs and hold on to her by holding onto the memories you have. love2day

That's so sad but growing up the way I did and where I did I have lost my share of friends. Everytime it felt like a part of me died to. I've lost family like aunts, uncles, cousins and grandparents but the feeling was different. It always hurts when you lose someone but it is not your fault you tried to protect her the best you could. They say the good die young it seems like this may have been the situation here.

I am so very sorry about your loss.