Ambiebambie.. Why Do They Still Have To Hurt You?

My best friend was an amazing and beautiful person... and she was the friendliest person i had ever met... She died last August of 2011... People made fun of her for I don't even know why but none the less they made fun of her... After she died... People still made fun of her... When I found out I did everything to stop them from saying things... I can't even imagine what kind of person could be mean like that to someone who is so sweet and so nice! She was the good one... I was the one always getting in trouble... And getting into fights with people whether it be physical or verbal fights...

Well, when she died a big piece of me died with her... I once again hated life... I just hoped and preyed that it wasn't true... It couldn't be true right? Well it was... I wished it was me... People would miss me less... Right? I went to her wake... She was so beautiful... So peaceful... Yet so cold... And lifeless... I wished she would just get up and be like "Just Kidding Everyone!" She had a great sense of humor... When my boyfriend called me to tell me she had passed away... I freaked... I yelled at him... This was our conversation:

My boyfriend: Amber's dead..
Me: What?! Shut up! That's not funny! That's a sick joke!
My boyfriend: It's not a joke...

We had hung up after that... I couldn't feel anything... Like my body went numb... I felt so bad for yelling at my boyfriend but I was shocked, I know it's no excuse but he knew I was just in a state of shock... He acted as if I had never freaked out at him... When we went to her wake he held me tight... The whole time... I felt dead that night... And for the following week... I still feel like that... Even a year later... I don't know... I really just don't know anymore...
AngryLittlePrincess AngryLittlePrincess
18-21, F
1 Response Aug 29, 2012

You know I feel you on this. It's going to be hard for a long time and maybe forever. I still think about my former best friend all the time. Almost everyday I remember an email, a phone call, a party... It's hard. Even now. I was thinking about it and it's been five years already. Well, next month it will be. But the pain does get better, like I told you before. I didn't realize how young you were when I first talked to you. I just saw that you had lost your best friend too. In this case your youth is a double-edged sword. Your emotions are harder to manage now but when you're older you'll have a lot more time under your belt. I was 23 when it happened. I don't know if I'll ever recover or if you will, but I think it's best that you get through the hardest part now. You'll be glad you did. I'm sorry for your loss and I hope you're holding up well. It seems like you are. Remember to cherish the friendships you have. You never know when someone's not going to be around anymore. You could lose any one of them at anytime. So could anyone. That's just how life is. Remember to love and support your friends, let them love and support you, and never ever take any of them for granted. That is without a doubt the best advice I can give you.