The Pain....

The pain was too much back than, and looking back
Right now, I am wondering to myself was it worse
Back than or is it worse now? What if I had
Dealth with Losing the two people in this world
That I Loved the most, would it not hurt so much?

The pain is always there, I look in the mirror
And there it is, I talk to an old friend, and there
It is. I get behind the wheel at night, and there it is, I
Really am starting to wonder will the pain always
Be there, always Haunting me...

The pain of losing them, is almost too much to Bare from
Time to time, I often wish, it was me that was taken away, not be the
One who had to stay behind, and even worse, not the one who
Has to miss them, and long for them like this.

The pain, I am getting use to, its been a few years
but some days it feels like yesterday but the one thing
That I just can't get use, is not having them here
With me, its just not right, and it really not fair....

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3 Responses Aug 4, 2010

*big hugs* I can't tell you when it will stop seeming like "just yesterday", I think that too much loss will always have its "just like yesterday" moments. I wish it wasn't like that, but I really think it is going to be. We deal with those moments as they come, and then we move on..what you feel is one should feel it, but it's normal. *Smile*

I can totally relate to what you wrote. You are correct, it is not fair at all. The way I feel now with my own mourning is that the moments I actually get to grieve and mourn are moments I get to heal. In feeling the pain and acknowledging it, describing it and reacting to it, I grow. It is a part of closure that I find some comfort in because eventually I know it will be less painful and I will have deepened my ability to love even more.

So sorry for your loss, it is tough losing someone close to you.