Why Did I Do It?

i went out with a group of mates about 4 of us in total,  we all got wasted and high on herion and some other stuff .i cant really remember what happened but i can remember dave was drivin an we went though the drive though at mc donalds. we were nearly home when the car hit another car , rolled over and swerved off the road.it turns over dave had taken an overdose and passed out at the wheel , i lost 2 great mates in that accident9 dave was one of them).i cant belive it happened i never thought somethin lke that would ever happen.

worse then the car accident was the funerls after i wanted to bbe there i just couldnt bear to go. i reget it now i just wish i had a chance to say goddbye and say how much they meant to (i had lived in care with em since i was 4 then we all got a flat togeter)me.

i hate myself now because it was my idea to go out if i hadnt of suggested it they would still be with us. the flat is just an emepty silence now.


runningtonowhere runningtonowhere
18-21, F
3 Responses Mar 11, 2010

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My dear, this is heartbreaking. I know I have also lost someone without being able to say goodbye and felt that I somewhat contributed to his death also but honestly they were your friends they knew you loved them. And you cannot blame yourself, everythign happens for a reason and I know we hate to hear that but you are here for a reason. I can only pray that things will get better for you and if you ever need someone to talk to let me know. Be strong, I have only lost my fiance of 18 years to a heroin overdose 2 months ago and it still hurts like crazy, but they want us to be happy beleive they hold no judgement upon you and you should not either. Take care and God Bless you!

wow, don't hate yourself! <br />
I never got to say "good-bye" either to the four people in my family who passed away from cancer.<br />
I was exteremly close to two of them. I know its really hard to go "on", all you can do is try:)