I Lost My Brother

My brother Michael died by suicide on April 25, 2005.  At first I didn't know if I would be able to keep on living.  Now I am doing better.  I still miss him a lot.  I belong to a group called Friends and Family of Suicide and it has been a life saver. 
inscore2 inscore2
31-35, F
13 Responses Nov 30, 2006

We lost our younger brother David to suicide almost 16 years ago...Everyday there are thoughts of him with us. He was always there for others, make them smile, cared for burn victims, loved his family....He drove his car to a wooded area and positioned it across two county lines, attached a hose to the exhaust and waited...No drugs or alcohol were involved...He had to drive past my sister's house (he was closest to her) to purchase everything he needed to end his life that day. How deeply saddened he had to have been to feel there was no way out, but this choice. This is the first time that I've admitted to myself that he committed suicide, but to no one else.. A decision that we still have not come to understand many years later...Always on our minds and forever in our hearts.....We miss you Turtle...

October 2011 I reported my brother to the suicide hotline. They let me know they made contact but could not tell me anything beyond that. They continued to call him. How often I do not know. Privacy rules. He shot himself on jan 4 2012. We lived 350miles apart. If only ...they shared with me and worked as my partner we might have saved him from himself. As the experienced ones in talking to suicidal people they should be allowed to include the one who cared enough to call. To hell with HIPPA rules. It possibly cost me my dear brother' life.

Losing people is tough and it's the price we're forced to pay for caring about them. There's no way to ever fix it or make it stop hurting, but somehow trying to help other people cope seems to help.

My brother commited suicide October 24, 2011. He hung himself in my sisters kitchen. She found him. This has totaly thrown my family for a loop. I find some are blaming themself, some blaming others. I find myself trying to trace every step he made that day replaying it over and over again just wanting to know every detail of his day.I was very close to him and miss him dearly I start counciling in a week. Hopeing it will help..

I am seeking out others for support, tomorrow is the one year anniversary of my brother committing suicide......i am in so much pain........but im not sure if these websites help me, after reading other's stories, i am just more sad:(

I am so sorry for your loss. The first year is the hardest. It does get better, I promise.

Thank you for sharing with us.

I am with you in spirit. I too lost my brother jan 4 2012. The images in my head of his violent ending, the what ifs and if onlys ... Trying to find the same peace when you bury someone who just died if old age or illness or accident. It is not the same. There is this feeling of despair that won't be buried quickly.

It does get better. It has to. I am going on a year and a half in November. My brother took his life on May 2nd, 2011. Its been such a rough couple months. I just hope I can better myself and make him proud still. Sending everyone much love and strength. We all need it!

They were Brave

I have suffered 2 loses as a result of suicide. My husband commited suicide April 25, 2004 and I just recently lost my brother to suicide in March of this year. The worst part is the thoughts of what you could or should have done. If I had only been there. How do you cope with the guilt?

I've come to understand through my own loss is that at the time all they want is for the pain to stop. Understand, that there is nothing that you could have done at that time. The thoughts & feelings are more powerful than we will ever know(God Willing) and you must not blame yourself! It will get better!

I lost my brother too and no one in my family will ever be the same again. I miss him every minute of every day. Please get help if you are thinking of suicide. Please.

I lost my brother too and no one in my family will ever be the same again. I miss him every minute of every day. Please get help if you are thinking of suicide. Please.

I just lost my big sister (14 jan 2009). i miss her so much. Im so mad at her. what was she thinking? Do i tell mum an dad all the things she told me even if it hurts them?

I'm so sorry for your lose, inscore. I too lost my brothers to suicide. Yes, brothers. Not one but two a long time ago at the same time. So many times I tried to write a story about it and always ended up deleting it. Maybe someday...

it was my friend and my best mate boyfriend he hung his self on the 6 th november 2008. he has left behind 3 kids and i dont know wot 2 do. plz help.