Written on April 25th, 2012
I was hanging out with my Army buddies, having a great time and enjoying drinks....I recieved a call that changed my life forever. My cousin that never calls says that my little brother is gone. My heart sunk so deep as if my chest caved in. All thoughts in my head gone and I dropped to my knees. My buddies had no idea...they witnessed me chucking my phone across the ground. I will never forget that moment that changed my life. I remember it snowed...and the sunset was so beautiful. The pink and purple sunset reflected off the snow surrounding the Rocky Mountains. The world was an emptier place because he was gone. The world lost another beautiful soul that graced everything and everyone with his amazing smile. Why was he so stubborn to decide to leave? If he knew the pain his family felt as we learned of his passing would he have chosen to pull that trigger? He pulled the trigger because he had a broken relationship with his so called girlfriend who he knew was not repairable. She wasn't worth it brother. No one is worth ending a life....your life. Now here we are six years later....life still goes on....but our hearts still hurt....I still cry....I just miss everything about you. The good....the bad....everything. I wore my military dress uniform to your funeral...I wanted to crawl into that coffin with you....but apart of my heart did. When you left...when you died....so did I. A part of me did. That part of my heart has no beat....as I write this I tear up. I dislike knowing you are gone...but mainly I dislike the fact that I have to live this life without my little brother. I would give up my life to have you back. I would let you live life to the fullest just to see you smile and be happy. I miss you terribly...life will never be the same but know you were the best little brother ever!