It was a quiet loving romantie evening for my father and his wife. They set on the couch for awhile after a good day. Then he began playing the organ and singing. This went on for about 3 or 5 hours. Just playing and singing hymns and old songs. One he sang multiple times was coming home. Whens he feel asleep, he went into the den. The den was dad's room. It was built expecially to hold this tall old walnut secretary and cabinet his father had made. It was lined with hselves to hold all the books and music. The openings in the sehlves held some of his paintings. The chairs each had their own table to hold the books and pipes and tobacco. It was my plae of comfort when I visited. Just to set there, share a good smoke listen to misic, read a books and sip some wine or whiskeya nd be there was special.

In this room, he wrote the last words of a poem he and my sister had been writing. No reason to quote it, but I remember what he wrote well. Then he took out his old Mersham pipe and had a snoke while he cleaned the brushes & pallete and laid them on the table by the easel with his unfinished painting. Then he cleaned the 9 shot 22 revolver I had learned to shoot with.

Now it was time for his shower. After the shower, he came out and arraged the blanket around his wife on the couch. She woke enough to be aware of his kiss and then fell back asleep. He then went back to the den, picked up the revolver, went to bedroom, and laid down on the bed. At peace, he looked down the barrel of the revolver and pulled the trigger.

And as a good man's life of love, peace and responsibility ended, the loss of my friend, my ideal and teacher who taught me to love the majesty of life started my years of Hell.

demorcan demorcan
61-65, M
4 Responses May 10, 2012

Writing is very cathartic for me.

You should write part 2. Even if its emotional, sometimes sharing your deepest feelings and secrets can be cathartic. Especially when its with near strangers because No one will judge you. We are all here to help you. (:

I wrote until I could no longer see through the tears. I hope you are right.

Well even if i'm wrong, I'm here to listen (:

His death brough me....... well, I think I may write part 2. But it is much more emotional and harder to tell.

Hey it will be ok! You still have many people to help youngest through this! I'm here if u need to talk!

While I lost 5 yrs of my life to my fathers suivide, Now it is added to and defined by the recent death of my only son. And what I thought I had grwon to live wiht comes back to haunt me again.

I'm so sorry! How did he die?

He died of a heart attack at college.

I'm so sorry! I wish u the best and I know this is hard to o through!

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