I Miss My Niece Mandy

My niece Amanda was twenty years old when she took her life. There was just so much pain in her life. She felt that no one understood her. On June 3 we will be celebrating the anniversary date of her death. I do not have any pictures of her. But let me kind of introduce you to her.

She is tall for her age, she has hair down to her neck, she can have a cheerful look or a sad look depending on the circumstances. Her and I were close and whenever I came to see her; she would lite up. I cared about her so much. Many people did not understand her Her sister is younger, and I would take care of the girls when their mom was looking for work.

I would do what the girls wanted to do. So for a lot of years we were close. Mandy graduated the top ten of her class in spite of the turmoil going on in her life. She could speak and write fluently in eight different languages. She was an artist and loved anime art. 

She called me her youth pastor. After she passed away life was not the same for me. I did not want to continue in ministry. I wanted to go into a different path. A friend on here told me; I am worried about you. I am not overly religious but you are a minister. Without this in your life and your connection with God; you are going to fall to pieces. 

This is why I changed my picture and id to honor my niece. Please if you have lost someone to suicide or you are thinking of harming yourself please add me as a friend and send me a private message. I am here to help because I understand your pain. We all belong in a club the suicide survivors club and our lives will never q uite be the same again. However, we have to rise above this so that we will honor our loved ones. 

Pastor Jim
MandyzYouthPastor MandyzYouthPastor
46-50, M
3 Responses May 23, 2012

Pastor Jim this makes me sad every time I read it over and over again!

Hey I am sorry I sent u a private message Jim!

I've lost three of my friends this way, I'm so sorry for your loss, personally I have to stick around because I couldn't do that to my bro, so I'm stuck here like it or not!