Too Many Suicides... My brother's story

My brother took his own life when he was 19 years old and I was 10.  For years, I didn't believe he was really gone forever.  I had dreams in which he came home and said it was all just a mistake and he was fine.  He was a very giving, caring person.  We moved when I was 7 so he was 16 it was hard on all of us to lose our close friends and everything we knew.  Anyway, he took it upon himself to put my swingset together by himself so I could play on it.  This was on the first day we lived there.  I will never forget that.  he went into the navy at 18 and when he came back I didn't really see him much, the last time I saw him was my 10th birthday, he and my dad took me to an amuzement park and I got a pink 10 speed.  That September he went back to our old hometown by himself, checked into the YMCA and died 2 days later.  I found out on a Friday morning when I was getting dressed for school.  My mom came in and told me that he had gone back to Auburn and that he died and we were going to his funeral that day.  The day was a blur.  One thing I do remember is that when we got to the church, my dad was already there (my parents were divorced), he got down on one knee and put his arms out to me but my mom blocked me from going to him.  He took his life 13 years after that after a long struggle with depression and alcohol abuse.  His own father had also taken his life at 34 when my dad was 3 so he never really knew him.   
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1 Response May 24, 2012

im sorry u had to go thru that i kinda know how u feel i lost some of my family too :(