I Dont Know Why

Me and my sister where best friends. She was my twin. My dad was at work I was at school and my mom had gone out for something at the store. We took 2 cars today because i had riding after school and she was going to tennis. We didn't have any morning classes. At 3rd period the teacher got a call from the principal. He told me to pack up my stuff. I had no idea what was happening. The teacher Mr. Sanders looked scared and sad. outside i saw the principal and the nurse with a wheelchair and my mom. Mr. Sanders took me outside and they told me. I fell onto the ground screaming and crying. The class i could tell was trying to look out the window at the top of the door. When i got home there where ambulances and police officers in our room. My mom played me a voice recording that she heard when she came home. It was Clara and she was telling mom and everyone how she was sorry but she thought it was the only way and she couldn't bare living anymore. She didn't tell us why she killed herself. It has been about a year and my mom is not over it she never talks to me because i remind her of Clara. Sometimes she thinks i am Clara and runs over to me but i have to tell her that it's just me. I miss her so much but it makes it worse that we dont know why she killed herself.
Rylanbaby Rylanbaby
18-21, F
5 Responses Sep 23, 2012

ohh so sad, im so sorry

i am so heartfelt sorry for your loss and pain, i hope that soon you will feel some degree of peace, not knowing why your sister killed herself is a added burden on you and your family... its hard i know but try to remember the positive things about your sister......

How heart breaking, I am so sorry this has happened to you.

That is very sad but keep up your head and remember she is always in your heart and she will always look down on you and keep you out of harms way. Your parents will be different for a very long time because the child is to bury their parents my brother passed away too and it's very hard to cope but I keep my head up and know he is always watching with God by his side. God did not take her from you either. There are always reasons for someone to leave suddenly. It's not your fault nor your parents fault there has to be an explanation for that an it may be too much for you to handle or she would tell you in the message or in a letter. You are alive be blessed and be strong. As a christian all i can say is that this will only make you stronger. Like Kelly Clarkson says...well sings what doesn't kill you makes you stronger. Well sweetie lift your head and stand a little taller! Smile wide and show your parents that you are there and hug them as often as you can so they feel that love from you and if you already do that keep doing it girly!

I am truly sorry for your loss. stay strong.you in my prayers