** For Demorcan **

demorcan,

I find time to be an incredibly strange thing...when you're young, you can't wait for it to go by, you want to be older and have more freedoms and more abilities. As you get older, time seems to fly. You wish you would have taken the time to enjoy childhood more. Your child is born and he grows up before your very eyes, when you were sure that just last week he was an infant. We race through our work weeks to get to the weekend and our weekend flies by...in essence, we are racing through our lives. Nobody stops anymore. Nobody takes deep breaths, nobody takes the time to sit by the riverside and play Native American flute...it seems that the simple life is long gone and what's replaced it is a mindset of bigger, better, faster...keep up or get trampled...such a shame. Such a waste of perfectly good life...perfectly good hearts. Time...time, my friend, is the only true luxury, as you well know. When the people you love leave your life, does one ever find himself wishing they'd had a bit more money, more success in business, more material items they had left behind? One wishes they would have had more time. Sometimes even one more day. We tell ourselves we would have been content to have one more day with them. One wonders why they didn't stop more often, have more conversations, spend more time with them. It is a lesson not so easily learned...those who have this belief solidified within them have usually earned it in the most devastating of ways...they understand that in the midst of an ordinary day, your entire life can come crashing down upon you. They understand what it feels like for time to run out, and they understand that it will run out for everyone.

I say all this because it's time for me to leave ep. I have deleted most of my stories and will be deleting my profile. It has served its purpose to the best of its abilities and it's time to move on with my life. Let go and let God. I didn't want to leave without saying goodbye, because I want you to know that you mean something to me. Your words have always been an encouragement and I have valued every correspondence.

I don't know if you know this...if anything I've ever said or written has given any indication, but I believe you're here because you have not fulfilled your purpose. I know that sometimes we can't see it or don't want to believe it, but I believe that God knows what He's doing. I believe that God allowed my father to take his own life and that it was his time; if it wasn't his time he would not have allowed him to die and if he hadn't done it himself, He would have taken him another way. But you...my friend, you still have a purpose. It could be as simple as being the friend you were to me (and others) or it could be bigger, but make no mistake, it means something. You are irreplaceable.

Remember: guilt, anger, bitterness, negativity...they will get inside your head and they will eat you alive. These feelings can be valid at times, but they have an expiration date. Don't let them overpower you. Don't let them become you. Your past does not have to define your future...if you will step out of your past and away from the things that have pained you, a future of love and light will be waiting. And the possibilities will be endless.

If I ever find myself on ep again, I'll be sure to look you up.

-kibur87

I'm sorry for making this public. I messaged you, then when I went to delete my account, ep said it would delete all of my comments and messages to others. However, they allow you to leave your stories up, and I wanted you to know. I wrote this specifically for you and to you. I hope it got to you.
deleted deleted
26-30
1 Response Sep 25, 2012

Take care and goodbye.<br />
<br />
*hugs*