I Never Thought It Would Happen

Where to begin?  I lost my brother 2 years ago to suicide, April 26, 2005.  He never got over losing our other brother who died in a car accident on April 20, 1995.  On the 10th anniversary of my first brothers death, he took his own life and left me and my family devastated.  I am the youngest of 3 siblings and now find myself alone.  I hurt so much and just can't seem to find my way back to the path.  I am still working and I love my job but it is all I have.  I have isolated myself from everyone.  I was on anti-depressants for nearly 2 years but recently weened myself off of them.  I'm tired of being medicated and just want my life back.  It isn't working though.  Suicide effects every aspect of your life.  I miss my brothers so very much and wish that I could turn back time.  It is hard to see my parents so broken and lost.  No parent should have to bury their child, let alone children, and no sister should have to carry her brothers caskets.  I'm not sure if this is acceptable for this site so please let me know if I should not share so much.  Thanks for listening.
Valkyrie Valkyrie
31-35, F
3 Responses May 13, 2007

I do know how you feel. I too, lost both of my brothers, my only siblings. I lost my younger brother 2 1/2 years ago to cancer when he had just turned 20. And I just lost my older brother 27, to suicide a month ago. My life has been forever changed. There is no more normal, and there never will be again. <br />
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I'm so very sorry for your loss. It's so hard to imagine moving on without them.

Your story is so sad<br />
im so sorry that u had to loose both of your brothers i dont no how u feel but i do have 3 little brothers that i love like they were my own kids. <br />
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Anything that you need to get of your chest that is going to help you through life you say what you feel and think!<br />
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you have all my thoughts and hugs with you<br />
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xoxoox

I am so sorry you have endured this. You are right, none of this is fair. It's not how things should be.