I Was Seven...

My father committed suicide when I waas seven, on Father's Day. He gassed himself in his car.

My mother told my sister and I that he had a heart attack, because she thought we were too young to understand.

When I was twelve I realised that what my mother had told us didn't make sense. My father was twenty-nine, and an athlete. When I questioned my mother, she told us the truth.

I felt so angry and scared. I had to grieve for him all over again...that's when my battle with depression began.

maybecrazy maybecrazy
26-30, F
2 Responses May 15, 2007

My heart aches for you. I lost my 31 year old son to suicide and he left 2 boys behind. They will one day realize how much they were loved by their father. His broken heart in his relationship was the reason my son made the decision he made to take his life. The broken heart is very real and the pain is overly powerful. If you have a chance to find my book Surrendered Identity there may be some answers for you in it. I found some answers after I had a melt down a few years ago. I pray for your heart to be totally healed of all of the brokenness and that the depression will leave you and never return.

Her intentions were good, but I don't think your mother should said it was a heart attack. I can see why you had to grieve all over again. It's gotta be hard to understand regardless of age. No matter if you are seven or seventy.