The Person I Never Knew

I had a cousin named Brian.
Everyone liked him at the time. They still tell me about how funny and sporty he was, and how he and I both had the same green eyes and freckles, and how he also liked soccer. He died at the age I am now when I was about seven or eight.
At the time I didn't care that much. He lived an hour away so it was like I only got to see him every now and then. But when a few years later there was a hole in my heart. I wish I had gotten to know him. I feel like he's always watching me, and even though I hardly knew him I feel like he was my brother. He died because people bullied him, and so he hung himself. I still cry for him. It's just so awful that he died. I am bullied sometimes, too, but I would NEVER take a permanent route out of something silly like that.
I miss him. I wish I had gotten to know him. I always think "What would Brian say?" if I do something bad and then I feel guilty. I have imaginary conversations with him, so I feel like I've almost gotten to know him.
I wish I had known him. It makes me sad.
sugarcoatedchainsaw sugarcoatedchainsaw
13-15, F
Dec 7, 2012