Thinking About Suicide.

As I think about my life, I think to myself .. Nobody understands my story and what I'm going through in life . I'm truancy mostly in school, with bad grades. Family always betraying me. Saying that I won't graduate . Im only a freshman. they say that they barely see me read and do my homework. To be honest, I read and do my homework at school. I finish everything at school. My family just don't see what Im going through with life everyday . It's sad that My brothers and sisters backstab me too And betray me just liek my parents. Yes, Im the oldest child. I'm the most child who gets abuse in the family. I look to my brother and my two lil sisters, they never get abuse. They're 14, 13, and 12 years old. I always get ***** at when Im doing nothing wrong. I cook, and everything. They still call me lazy and hit me. Its just sad. I've always wonder how life would be without me. I've always wanted to kill myself, for not having the things I want, and for people who doesnt understand my life. Only I understand my life. Parents abuse too much. I still take the pain. I feel like i'm the most ridiculous person on earth. Even at school, I try to be there and catch up all of my work and everything, I feel like the most dumbest student in every class all the time. I just wish life wasnt as complicated as it is. Most teachers are mean, and such *****. I just wish most teacher would respect more. Getting to go to court for missing school alot is even worse. Getting locked up is even WORSER. I hate staffs and every little ****. Life is never FREEDOM. You can only have freedom when you have your diploma. You can never get away from school. I just hate life. Sometimes I maye Love it. I may love my parents and siblings at times, But at the same time, **** everything. I want to live alone, die alone. People will never understand my side of the story. Im glad I found this website and started using it. It really help. Thanks .
Isabelle00 Isabelle00
2 Responses Dec 8, 2012

I'm here for you if u need me same here I'm a freshman

This is so crazy I thought you might be my oldest girl she is also 15. You basicaly described her life it realy scares me all the time that she may feel she has no one to talk to but my wife and I try so hard to make her understand that we are only alive to help and her sibilings. I pray all the time she finds a way to vent and let someone in her life know how she feels inside and what can be done to help her. She is not a bad girl not into drugs or scipping school but. I pray for you to that you find someone you can relate to and share you life with. God Bless you and my baby: she is also the oldest of three kids.