My Star In The Skyi've just lost my boyfriend to suicide on the 3rd of December 2012 . I lost Tom only 27 days ago but he went missing on the 17th of november this year after finishing work. so i haven't seen him since then. every day is a battle an i wish the days away. i think my friends and family are sick of me talking about him. I'm feeling lost and lonely without the love of my life and i'm scared i'll never find love again because we where the double of one another and everyone says that to me. I feel i've lost my 1 chance of love and i should of done more for tom. his friends and family say i made him the happiest man alive but its hard to believe that right now, i keep blaming myself and the world like was there signs we all missed could we have done more? my friend says its not normal for me to go to where he was found, but it brings me comfort an she doesn't seem to understand that. I love Tom so much and it feels like a part of me has died and gone with him. I feel so lonely and lost without tom by my side. i still go to send him text messages and call him like we did every day an i wait for him to call me back and i think about tom all day an night. His suicide follows me around like a big dark cloud. We had planned are future together and i never seen this coming. its just makes no sense at all. will it ever get better?
mystar2012 22-25, F 4 Responses 0 Dec 30, 2012