My Husband Committed Sucide Because Of My Mother.

My husband committed sucide on Nov 14, 2012. He went out into the backyard and shot himself in the head. I miss him so badly. Ever one said that I would get mad at him but I have not. I understand why he did it. He did it for me. He was going blind. He had a disease called Leber's Heridary Optic Neropathy. It steals your central vision and leaves you with only eyesight around the edge of your eyes. He had been told my world known Dr's that he would not lose all his eysight. He would always be able to see his feet. But he lost that at the end. There is no known cure for this disease. Probably when he got up that morning he could not see to shave. I saw a little blood on a washcloth lster.. He did not eat his yogurt and fruit. But he did wait until after his friend's radio program finished. Then he got a cushion for his knees and went under a tree and shot himself in the temple. I was still in the bed. A neightbor came banging on the backdoor and she said that she had heard a shot. I ran 1/2 way to the tree but saw the blood and turned back. I did not want to see him like that. I wanted to remember the handsome man that he was. He had told me that he did not want to be a burden on me since I had the care of my Mother also. She is the worst human being of God's earth. I have hated her for years and can not get away from her because I am her only relative. I can tell her to leave me alone and it will not be two hours and she on the phone again. For the last several years her mind has been slowing down but she could then and still can today answer those 30 questions that the you on a dementia test. She could answer ever one but could not take her medicine correct or go to the post office then find her way back home. She fell in March and the dr said no more living alone or driving. Well, she has moved twice and is wanting to move a third time because the people are below her in intelligence level and she can not have a meaningful conversation with anyone at her present assisted living place. I feel so quilty because I let this woman work her ways to take my time away from my loving husband until he thought that I would be better off without him. Why could the devil (her) not die and live that good loving person on this earth. There is the phone and I know who it is !!!!
wigg810 wigg810
61-65, F
Jan 15, 2013