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Jason Let Me Down

Jason Scott Clucas- 1971-2005
if you ever see my father's tomb stone, that is what you will see. You won't see he killed himself. You won't see a clue as to why he did it. You won't see why he left his two young children and his true love behind to pick up his mess. And you will never know why he shot himself as escape from some unseen pain. That unseen pain haunts me, I was his little girl. I was eight years old and saw my daddy on weekends. He was the fun spoiling parent. Mom was the one that kept life in order. I suppose he killed himself because he couldn't handle his addiction to meth. But no one should have felt pity for his death. He was weak. He couldn't stop for his family, and he couldn't stop for me. His death rocked my safety net, I fell from all I knew and loved. I have him to blame, I hate him for it. Jason Scott Clucas was and is a disgrace. I am ashamed to have come from such a weak man.
TheWalkingShadow TheWalkingShadow 16-17, F 2 Responses Jan 17, 2013

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Nichelle - I happened, somewhat by chance, to stumble upon your post. You see, I was Jason and Jeff's kid neighbor in the early 80's. My family moved to Stevenson in 1979; to the blue house at the top of the drive. I was 4 years old; just slightly younger than Jeff. I have very tender and fond early childhood memories of playing long summer days with those boys. We'd play in the "canyon", and in the woods. We'd play our very own version of tag, called, "Pac Man". I learned to ride my bike with Jason and Jeff. They were always the spoiled kids, getting new bikes and Atari games for Christmas and getting pop and those $1 fruit pies every time their mom went shopping. I loved those boys; they were my best playmates. In 1984 we moved away to Mexico, I was about 8 years old. That was the last time I remember seeing the Clucas boys. Sometimes I think about those happy, care-free days and wonder, what went so wrong with the family down the hill.
If you ever need to talk about anything, email me: emailcaleb at gmail
Caleb Kaspar

If you ever need someone to talk to, I'm here for you *big bear hugs*