I Lost My Best Friend

I knew a guy for years, we where best friends, we went out for a while and he was like my big brother. He was always there for me whenever i needed a shoulder to cry on or he was there to listen to me and always gave advice on what he thought I should do in certain situations. He and his family had moved away and we still kept in touch. Then we started fighting and we stopped talking. It was stressing me out so i had blocked his number and spoke to his parents about him not contacting me. We stopped talking for a while and out of the blue i sent him a text simply saying "I'm sorry...". I just wanted to apologize for everything that had happened. I didn't hear back from him and i just thought that he didn't want to talk to me which was acceptable.
One morning about 4am I got a phone call and i was sleeping so I didn't hear my phone go off. Usually i like to sleep in but this morning i was awake early because i had a bad feeling and i wasn't sure what it was about.
I got a phone call at about 11am from his mum saying that they had found him outside hanging from a tree. He had committed suicide.
I guess that the phone call was to say good bye. I still blame myself, maybe if i had of answered the call he would still be here. I might have been able to talk him out of it. I know that we may not of been on the best terms at that point in time but i still didn't want to see him hurt.

Rest In Piece Josh, I will never forget you. I hope you found your happiness...
BrokenGirl54779 BrokenGirl54779
13-15, F
1 Response Jan 19, 2013

So sorry about your friend - one of my best friends committed suicide also. It was very hard not to feel guilty about it.