My Friend Died Yesterday

Yesterday when I got home, I was informed that a classmate had passed away and hung himself just a half an hour prior to me finding out. I didn't know who it was but I had an idea since I was given the age and the address. Once the name came out and I was sure, I felt literally sick to my stomach. Just a year and a half later, I had lost a friend the same way. The thing that makes this strike me as so difficult to deal with is the fact that I felt the same pain they were going through just a couple years back. I tried to kill myself too. But, I survived. Why did I have to survive and these boys, my good friends didn't get a second chance? It really hurts that I was giving countless "second chances" at life but they only had one chance. Today was a hard day for me. Yesterday, one of my good childhood friends hung himself due to bullying at our small town high school. The second in a year and a half. I feel like these two boys deserved that second chance more than I did. I feel really guilty. I feel like I could have reached out to them, but I didn't know they were going through this. I will never stop feeling like I could have done more. I lost a friend to drugs a couple years ago. 3 boys, three amazing boys that could have done so much for this world and they're gone. I think about them all the time and try to keep their memories alive as everyone else forgets. It's like they're not hurting as much as I am.
Chayley Chayley
18-21, F
2 Responses Jan 19, 2013

I feel the same as u and have been through very very similiar circumstances...ur comment does matter will save someone... it will touch someone... it will make others think... u have made a difference just by this post bc I read it:)

:) thanks for reading

Think of tomorrow...Help the someone that might think of this...and God will be withyou!