He's gone, and I miss him. I think about his good qualities, and about all the struggles he went through. Like mom telling him to eat "just a spoonful of peas," but he refused, so dad made him sit at the table "until he ate them"....he still didn't eat them! I'd find him in the middle of the night, sound asleep in a terrible position, still at the dinner table. Or my uncle's German shepherd biting him on the face, and not letting go until my uncle opened the dog's mouth. Or my dad giving him a crew cut (when he was in 7th grade, and loved his hair that touched the collar of his shirt) because he found him trying out a cigarette. Or the time he was racing a friend on a bike, and ran into a parked Volkswagon....he had split his head open, but his crotch was the only place that he thought was injured.
Some of his qualities: He wouldn't do anything unless he did it the best that it could be done. Much like an old fashion furniture maker, when he did it, it was quality. He was very creative and was fun to have at parties. He was intelligent, and got frustrated with the stupid people around him. He, like many others, lost his job with a big airline because of 9/11. He worked on the engines, and was, of course, extremely precise. A cousin of ours said that he was very honored to have had him as a cousin. I enjoyed being his sister for many, many years.
I hope, dear brother, that you have found the peace that you were searching for! We all miss you!