My Mom

Sep 25, 2013

It hurts way more than I thought it would. It's like my mom was two different people. I want to throw up just thinking about it. Her service is Wednesday and I'm dreading it. I can't stop getting into a panic just thinking about it. I'm nervous because its her funeral and I have anxiety and panic disorder. She ended up getting into 4 car accidents and couldn't work anymore. She got addicted to pain killers and went down hill from there. She stayed in her apartments for 5 years and nothing else. She had deep depression and started going crazy. I miss her very much. Even though we argued alot and have alot of anger towards towards each other she's my mom. I remember when she was normal when I was younger and read me books before bed and take me to my baseball games. She's been suicidal for awhile and we would always save her. I never thought that she would actually do it. It hurts. I can't stop crying when I'm by myself. And I already suffer from depression before this and now I'm just scared. I don't want to kill myself. I don't know what to do. I love you Geraldine Marie Strauss for ever and always.
leestrauss leestrauss
26-30, M
7 Responses Oct 1, 2013

Ssssoooo sorry for ur loss.. Don't give up ur mother will always be with u in ur great memories U have of her! 💕

So sorry for your loss. There's mental illness in my family too, and I can't even be around my family anymore, even though I do miss them sometimes. I had a brother who was killed and so I understand sudden tragic loss. I'll say a prayer for your Mom, and you. Blessings.

Thank you very much! And yeah it's hard dealing with family with mental issues especially when they take there own life because you start to wonder what your capable of. I will say a prayer for your brother and you as we'll!

Thank you.

I looked at your page because you so much resemble my own 23 yo son who committed suicide in july of this year. I am not messing with you. It's no joke. I miss my PJ more than life itself. Maybe you and I could help each other.

I'm so sorry Hun . You're so strong you have to keep going. You have a wonderful beautiful life ahead of you. Never stop dreaming or believing. I just lost my gramps to cancer it was horrible horrible feeling but I know he wouldn't want me to be sad he would want me to remember happy times like you should do with your mama .

I'm so sorry. I feel your pain.. My big brother recently passed too. We never think we will lose family like this. Stay strong and know that people love you. Your mom is watching over you. Live the life she would want you to live. ❤️

I'm sorry for your loss it must be hard losing someone you grew up with.

I'm so sorry :'( if you need someone to talk to I'm here

Thank you I really appreciate it.

I lost my father 10 years ago next month. Every year it feels like it was just like yesterday. For me I take it one day at a time slowly and I always remember just because my dad isn't here with me physically he is with me spiritually . My dad took his life witch I can little relate how hard it is losing the battle. , I know in spirit he's watching over me guiding me, walking me down the aile, watching over my kids and is proud who I am today. I know if he could take it all back he would. Talk to a close friend , a doctor, guidance, or send me mail if you like to chat , need someone to listen. Sorry for your loss.

I'm very sorry to hear it sucks when a family member takes there own life because it touches close with you and makes you feel like your capable of the same thing.