Soul Pain

My Grandpa shot himself in Jan. It has been a year. It was such a shock because he was the pillar of our family. It is such an unfair grief that nobody should have to go through. I had a heart attack almost three years ago,(at 26) and I finally told my Mom what I was going through mentally, before my Grandpa did this. She shared it with my Grandma and my grandma was going to send me my grandpa's journal, but shortly afterwards my Grandpa commited suicide.I am still having thoughts. The only thing that keeps me from doing it is my six year old son and my feelings of my Grandpa's suicide, but it is becoming such a thin line now. I just need someone to talk with who has similar feelings.
earthmother earthmother
26-30, F
3 Responses Aug 9, 2007

Thanks so much glorygirl.You made me smile. It is so nice to hear encouraging words. It lifts my heart. :)<br />
My Uncle on my Dad's side shot himself,when I was a kid.It strikes me as bizarre sometimes to have two people in my life commit suicide on my maternal and paternal side.Makes me think too much sometimes.Anyways,thank you once again.Peace,J

Earthmother, wish I had more details on the situation. Has anyone else tried this in your family that you know of? There can be strong spiritual complications related to losing such a close member of your family. You need to repuke all thoughts as soon as they enter your mind. They may not even be your thoughts. You need to discern this. you cannot entertain them even for a moment . Sometimes the darkness goes away when we bring these issues into the light. You have begun that process by being open to discuss it. That is a brave thing you do. Please address this issue as a battle, you are already becoming a soldier, now become a warrior, and over this battle. I join with simplesarah if you need to talk message me

I am here for you if you need to talk, no-one deserves to feel this way.<br />
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Message me.<br />