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Mama

Hello Mama,

Has it really been almost 10 years already..?? I still feel like you left us just recently. We were together for 30 years and all of sudden you have to leave, I miss you so much and you honestly don’t know how hard is it. Things are different without you being here. The kitchen looks so cold since you’re gone. The flowers and plants don’t look into the sun anymore.

I keep thinking of stuff that I could have done differently. If I was at home that morning and helped you doing all house works, If I could moved back home and lived with you… things could be different… you could be with us till now. I still remember the reunion dinner 10 years ago, you said to Unlce Tong “My girl is big enough now, she can cook, she can take care of everyone. I’ve no worries now..” I was surprised to hear this. Why you say this..?? Does that mean you don’t want to take care of me anymore..?? Then… you left us few days later.

You could have been 64 by now. I tried to look for a picture of you and me, but I couldn’t find it in my PC. I was so mad and I hated myself for being so careless. I lost the picture. I’m really trying not to cry right now but it isn’t working. I miss you, Mama.

When I chat with him just now, I told him about you. I cried when I tell him I miss you. Before he sign off, he said “Can I Miss you ?” I replied “I think so.” Then I said to him “Can i say i don’t want to miss you..?? Today, I just want to think about my mum. Can I put you behind for a while..??” He said “Sure.” Yes, today is for you, Mama.

I Miss You... Mama...!!!

Your Girl
catcs catcs 36-40, F 10 Responses Dec 7, 2010

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Bluple, Thanks for your support :-)

smtimes we never know the true value until it becomes a memory :( memory is sucks i know.. when we lost someone that we loved,cared soo much it feels like broke our bones.. and right now we just seeing picture picture and find out wheres the best thing that they ever gave.. i feel what you feel cuz my dad was died when im 15 .and im really sorry to hear your story.. but we cant change the fact right ? ofc your mom needs you to live on.. and dont be saddear cause your mom dont want it.. xoxoxo!

ChasingHorizons : Thanks for reading my story. I’ve been thinking of her every day and I think I will never get over it. She is part of my life. All I’ve to do is to cope with it through every hard day.

Thank you for sharing this to us. That takes bravery and strength to bear such a loss and then share something like that to others.

Iris32 : I'm sorry about your loss too... Let's us together walk through our hard time... :-)

Uliftmeup : Thanks... time pass and I'm sure I'll be alright... :-)

sorry bout ur loss,,,i lost my 6yr old in 2005..

^^, Once i posted a question at QA section asking about how to cope with the lost of someone we loved.... And somebody put it right, we learn to love them in a different way... and I believe you are going to be alright :)

I cry whenever I think of her... and it's still hard for me to get over this... but I'm trying... Thanks for your support.. :-)

Awwww.... I feel like to cry too Cs... it's the remembrance now and then that could make it hard... yet, it's a proof of love between you and I believe your mom knows how things are going with you somehow and proud of you her baby girl! ^^,