I Lost The Love Of My Life

On July 7th the love of my life passed away. We've been together for four years and still going strong. We were so alike and absolutely perfect for eachother. We were eachothers first bf and gf and we both had a special mutual love. I had what I have been wanting since I can remember . He's my dream guy and I'm so heartbroken that he's gone. It's all so sudden and we had an agruement before I left to a camp ten hrs away. He didn't want me to go because he worried about me, if something were to happen he couldn't help and also I wasn't going to have recepition. Because we left off on a bad note I really didn't want to go anymore without making up in person but he was at work and I already had to leave. We made up in texts and we said he would be waiting for me when I got back and maybe he could have a hug this time. He also said we would do something special when I got back. Well the first day I'm there I get the call on the only landline and I was just in shock. My worst nightmare came true. The only person who truly cared about me is gone. I wish it were me instead he had so much to live for.. I'm just so numb to everything and to top it off my mom is going through treatment for stage 2 breast cancer and he was going to be here for me if anything happened to her... At first I felt so suicidal but I cannot do that to my parents of coarse.. I'm just so lost without the one person that made me feel alive, sane, happy, and loved me so much.. Btw I just turned 20 all this at my age
Roopertita Roopertita
18-21, F
2 Responses Sep 6, 2012

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That's too much. The past several years I've had much the same story. Too much death. It gets easier to move forward but it doesn't go away and you don't really move on. And you'll be scared forever. But your life will have more reality than others who have never been touched with such pain. And that will make you the perfect person for someone else who is going to go through this in the future. I believe it all happens for a reason - maybe not a good reason - but it's all a set up for something/someone else.