I Can't Forget My First LoveI have always been the smart girl, nerd, wallflower. By college, I was comfortable in that role. By grad school, I started to get some attention from guys but I had never been in love. Then it happens. I was on Spring Break in Cancun Mexico. Mostly chaperoning my younger sister and her roommates from Cornell. He asked me to dance. I can count the number of guys that have asked me to dance in my life on one hand. I told ALL of them no. He was different. 5'9, Glasses. Northwestern. Member of Mensa. So we danced. Then we talked. This man was interested in me. And it was amazing. I remember in graduate school, he took a train from Chicago to NYC ( 20+ hours) to spend 24 hours with me. I took a bus 20+ hours to spend 48 hours with him. We were both broke but it was the best time of our lives.
But you know how the story goes. When I went to meet his parents, they didn't approve of our relationship. I guess that I wasn't good enough to marry I guess. But I really loved him. And I know that he really loved me. Sure I came from poverty. We had nothing in common but our love. I didn't understand that his dad was independently wealthy. That his parents had spent over 100,000 dollars on his education (and that was before Northwestern and law school). His wife would not be from poverty. I was in my third year of medical school. I felt like I had some potential I didn't feel like trash. His parents made me feel like I was trash.
Even though its been 12 years, I have never recovered from him breaking up with me. He didn't even come to my graduation from medical school. He always looks me up. I can't bear to hear him speak my name. I guess that I will always have feeling for him. I've never really fell in love again. I have never had a man ask me to marry him again. I have never had children. I never thought that life could be so painful.