Whoever has the remote control to apryle's so called life. Please return it so that I can repair the 'pause' button. I'm thinking it might be jammed up. Or maybe it just got gummed up with cracker crumbs, boogers, formula or some other sticky unidentified substance.
Or maybe the play button just doesn't work. I don't know. Check the batteries anyways, they probably went dead anywhere from 2001 to 2005.
Look under the couch. That's where all my uncatered feelings seem to end up. If you happen to find a stash of moldy odiforous socks, please throw them in a pile by the laundry room. I'll get to those after I finish these 12 other loads of laundry I have yet to do. Right after I take out the trash and do the dishes. All those plates, pans, emotions, forks.....there piling up.
And P.S., if you happen to stop by McDonalds, please pick me up some frenchcries to go with my waaamburger.
Oh, and about that remote............Seriously, please return to owner.