I Used To Be Agoraphobic, Now I Leave The House But Still Have The Anxiety.

  When I was about 20 I stopped leaving the house. I didn't leave the house for 3 years. Finally my then boyfriend, now husband got sick of my pathetic behavior and yelled at me. I didn't realize that I was depressed but when he pointed out that I was always in bed or at least wearing my Pj's that I never left the house and barely spoke, that I either slept all the time or not at all. I realized that there was something wrong, I was so comfortable with my depression that it was like a friend that constantly tells you that you are stupid. I slowly started leaving the house but only in  very controlled way. There are still only certain stores I will go into and certain places that I won't. Not for any reason, Ijust  think it is just about controlling my environment. It is slowly but surely getting better, Now I am 30 and most people actually think of me as confident but in reality I am just able to look very calm even though I am freaking out. I know alot of people struggle with anxiety and it is very difficult. I was diagnosed with bipolar manic depression and chronic PTSD. I still have a panic attack now and then but mostly just a general anxiety when I am in public. I feel like I have come a very long way and my family tells me how proud they are but there are still times when I start finding excuses not to go out and feel like even though I know how much I was missing sometimes it would be better to go back to being in my own space and not having to deal with the outside world.
aprilriver aprilriver
31-35, F
4 Responses Aug 10, 2010

Thank you for the good luck! I am happy you replied. I used to find it easier to go out when I was dateing, now that I am single I find it twice as hard to go out unless I need something form the store. I also become broke about the middle of the month It dont matter how good I feel or how bad I want to practice I have no fuel money for my pickup truck. I still do not go anywhere when I feel ill. I have learnt A few copeing skille that have helped alot. Thank you once again..

Talking myself into it didn't work. I had certain places that I felt more comfortable with. For a long time I would drive out of my way to go to a store that I was comfortable with. It is extremely hard at first but the more you force yourself to do it the easier it gets. I started my going to those places I knew usually ate at night to make sure there were no crowds. I was ok with the grocery store but only the 24 hour one that was a little further away. I would go at 10 or 11 so it wasn't to late and people wouldn't think I was crazy. For the holidays I still don't go to the mall or any shops that are busy but it is important to keep building up to new things so I went to places that would be less crowded. The first few times you leave your house you may not even get out of the car once you see the building you are about to go in. Don't let that keep you from trying again. Look at what you did get done rather than focus on the fact that you couldn't get out of the car. Tell yourself that it was a step towards your goal. Small steps are important so make sure you tell yourself you have achieved something, no matter how small something is make sure you understand that no step is small. Every little bit of progress is important. People are agoraphobic for different reasons. Find your reason and work on that as well as working on taking small steps. Make sure you do something everyday and try to go one step further. If you can't then don't get discouraged just start over the next day. Don't rush things. Just take your time and force yourself as far out of your comfort zone as you can go. <br />
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I know it is tough but I believe you can overcome this obsticle, don't be to hard on yourself but don't be to soft either. Let me know how you are doing and I will be here if you need anything. Good luck!

I have had agoraphobia for 3 years now and I am trying to not do that anymore and have no clue how. What are some things that work for you? I cant talk myself into into it.

Oh, my. What a difficult way to live. I, too, experience this, but make myself go and do what I have to. It would be nice if a pill could just fix it, and maybe there is one, but how many would one have to tkae until finding the right one. What a great boyfriend you have. He must love you very much to be accepting of your condition. <br />
I think I grew into this wierdness. Life experiences have just about driven me insane. But somehow, I just keep going and hope I appear calm, cool and collected to the world. What else can i do? I pray a lot. God does help me if I let Him. I will pray for you.