Need Help.. Again.

So my boyfriend has been clean after his last slip for over a month now.. Before that, he had been clean 11 months. The issue is now, he smokes an obnoxious amount of weed. It's really escalated since the beginning of december. I think because we live in Vermont (close to canada) and it's so cold and boring, he feels like there's nothing else to do... This is true, to some extent. I also feel kindof hypocritical, since I occasionally partake in smoking recreationally.

I can't remember the last time he went a day without at least a bowl.

I've also noticed for a long time now he uses it at time when he once would have turned to the needle. I know I'd much rather have him smoke, but i feel like he's missing out on learning how to actually cope with his life and problems in a mature, constructive manner (an important step in recovery). He smokes when he's angry, tired, sad, bored, and hungry.

Some of my discomfort with this is that I've had no experience with other people who smoke that much. I know plenty of people do it every day and never move onto hard drugs, but in my life, i had never been close to someone who smokes EVERY DAY until now.

He's aware I'm uncomfortable, and working on it, but I feel so guilty when we talk about this! I mean, he got off heroin partially for me, cut his best friend (a using addict) out of his life, and has accomplished so much for me... I cant believe I'm asking more of him....

Thoughts? Should I just let it go? is weed a big deal for a recovering heroin addict?
Kate1994 Kate1994
18-21, F
2 Responses Jan 16, 2013

He does need to learn to cope with life in other ways then turning to get High - whatever drug it is. Personally, I don't see anything wrong with smoking a blunt or a bowl - but when you're doing it to cope with your emotions and life then you have to wonder if there is something else going on. I just found out a few days ago that my fiance has been using heroin for the past year - i am devastated - heartbroken - i feel betrayed - words cannot express how I truly feel. He wants to goto rehab. he doesnt want this anymore. he wants our family - and i told him he cant have it unless he gets clean. I have even promised him I would quit smoking weed all together if it will make his recovery process a little bit easier.

i feel you girl - just be thankful he didnt turn back to heroin - that **** is hell.

To be honest I think you should be grateful he has managed to quit heroin for you... Canabis was a medicine before they decided to make it a drug. I see it more as a herb! I know A LOT of people who smoke it everyday even though it makes them a bit lazy they can still do everything they want to do. I used to smoke it daily too for 3 years when I was suffering from depression until I finally I found that I didn't need it any more. It is hard to get over an addiction especially something like heroin, maybe give it a bit of time until he has recovered a little then maybe ask him to cut down instead of quit completely. Then if it bothers you that much slowly get him to quit.

Thanks so much for the feedback.. this seems like a great option for us to handle this maturely.. I was thinking about one day a month where we hang out together and do activities, without smoking. I know he'll be willing to agree to that if it makes me more comfortable.