This is my first post here. I needed a way to let this out and stumbled across this site. My partner is a cocaine addict, and drinks every day too. It's always been the same and I have accepted it. However recently it's really getting to me, I think it's due to our relationship now progressing and I'm at his house nearly all the time and it's opened my eyes to how bad it really is whereas before I never noticed the seriousness. I dread his days off as he will go for breakfast and to pick up at around 9/10am and then I don't see him again til gone midnight. Yet if I say anything when he gets home I'm made to feel like I'm a horrible person, and I'm just like his exs who have always moaned at him. I'm not like that I just like to know where he's been because it's worrying. Sometimes he will come home from work and just do a few grams by himself whilst we are watching the tele. He works hard and runs a business and makes sure we are never out of pocket but I just want a normal life with him. We got back off holiday at 7am this morning, had a nap and then he goes out at 10 to pick up and go to the pub. As soon as we get back he's already straight on it. I just don't know what to do, we have been through some really horrible stuff together and it's made us strong and I love him to pieces but the way he talks to me after a session is awful, it's abusive it makes me feel about an inch high, it's hard to deal with the accusations too. I'm just completely lost.
Crystalcastle Crystalcastle
26-30, F
3 Responses Aug 19, 2014

i dont eligible to make a comment about this.. but still i think u should get out of this relationship, not coz of the drug uses, but the abuse.. as it stats his inner character. Drug or alcohol works as a narcotic. at that moment most people reveal what they are. then again it is your life, i hope for the best.

^^yes sucks to say be it would honestly be best

Get out now before his problems become your problems. You don't have any commitments to this guy right now beyond time. It'll hurt but only for a bit. If you stay you'll have years for pain to deal with.

It is difficult. He's requested help, and will be going to an addicts thing soon and has asked me to go. I'm just wondering if he will actually go. And if he does, will he stick with it. If he truly wanted to stop surely he wouldn't of gone out as soon as we got home this morning. Thank you for your response. :)

Set a deadline and don't waiver. If he can't or won't you need to get out. You can't help if you get sucked in more. I still think you should leave now. He can meet your deadline without you just fine. Actions are the measure of a man, words are his tools. If he wants to be with you he will get clean.

I agree with the advice you were given. I've been married for almost 11 years to an addict...it will get so much worse, before it gets better...if it gets better. We are now separated and for the first time in 11 years I have some peace in my life. It hurts to not be with him but his addiction was ruining my life. Take care of yourself. Best of luck with your decision.