Santa's Thoughts - Very Short Verison

Some one asked a question about reindeer and I thought I would show my answer here. I am not too much for knowing jokes, but I do like to develope my own mateirial for my occasional setdown (or laydown) appearances.

I am Santa and I can tell you, you do not want to know what reindeer like to do. I mean a few hundred years ago, it was fine. Fly around in the sleigh leave packages on the door steps and go home to Mrs Santa. Then that darn Columbus had to go back to America that ended up in people being there to take presents to. Those stupid deer could not fly that fast. I only had 30 hours of night to get around the world. Finally we hit on a secret to make them faster. Have you ever heard of beans? I had to fly for 30 hours breathing reindeer farts. I started going done the chimneys just so the charred insides could clean the smell for a but it was the only fresh air I got. And going home, geez. I had to wash for 3 days before Mrs Santa would hug me. This went fine for a couple hundred years. And then... Have you ever heard of incontinence? Did you ever try to eat cookies when your moustache and beard is full of renideer pee? Geez, when I got home Mrs Santa would not even let me in the house for 2 weeks. Then last year Donner took a dump. 712 mph and SPLAT!!! ARGH!!! Mrs Santa would not let me in the house for 3 months!!!! Blasted reindeer. You do not want to know what senile incontinet reindeer do. I tell you. This is my last year. I am going to find the Easter Bunny and trade jobs. I hear he is tired of his sore butt. Boy is he going to be surprised. Shoving eggs out my butt is going to seem like a vacation after those reindeer games.
demorcan demorcan
61-65, M
Dec 2, 2012