My best friend Sandy is dating a guy named Bill. I was out with Sandy and Bill one night after having the worst day of my life and I met Bill's best friend Frank. I don't know how to describe my feelings when I saw Frank walk in. It was like something inside of me changed. I just knew at that moment that there was something about this guy. We ended up meeting shortly after and it has been a passionate, dramatic, love/hate relationship ever since. This was six months ago.
When we first met he contemplated breaking up with his girlfriend who lives nearly 1,000 miles away. He even asked me if I would be with him if he broke up with her. This was after we first met, and being the logical girl I used to be I told him no because he did not even know me. I thought this was making the point that I am seriously interested in him, but I want to get to know him first. I thought he was interested enough in me that he would break up with her. I thought wrong. Here we are six months later and he still has a girlfriend. I have pushed him so far away at this point that the only time I can act normal around him is after I've had a few drinks. It's pathetic. This kid is all I ever think about. I go to bed thinking about him, dream about him, wake up thinking about him. It's making me insane. Yet I can't even acknowledge his presence if I'm sober. I ignore him, don' text him or call him. And at this point, he's begun to act the same way towards me. That's not to say that after we both have a few drinks we don't end up all over each other and eventually going home together. It's ridiculous. And it's killing me. I don't know how to get out of this. I don't know what to do. The worst part is, I want to know what he's feeling. But I've pushed him so far away that he won't even let me see a glimpse of them anymore. Is his mind racing just as crazy as mine? Or is he totally over it? I would be crushed if he wasn't thinking about me like I am about him. But isn't that unhealthy? I don't know what to do. All I want is to be with him. I'm bothered because I'm not sure he knows that and I'm not sure it would make a difference. I don't want to come in between his relationship. But at the same time...I want him. Advice? Help!!