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My First Love Has A Girlfriend And She's Pregnant

What's mostly sad about this story is I am 25 years old never been in a real relationship. My first love is a man who doesn't know I love him and he has a girlfriend who is currently pregnant with his child. It sucks because I have loved this man for 5 years and I just recently admitted it to my self 2 years ago. It first started back in college and we had a class together. I only saw him twice in class but there was something about him that attracted me to him. Then I saw him around campus and I developed a small crush. Well come to find out a girl in my circle had her eyes on him as well and beat me to him. I kept my intentions silently until she used me to help hide that she was cheating on him. I told him and they broke up. One night we were chilling by ourselves and a sexual conversation came up and we ended up having sex. After that some more sex. Then it gets interesting me him and my bestfriend move into an apartment together. He ends up having sex with my BF and out of spite I had sex with his... Two months went by and we started having sex again and again and again. What I didn't know was that he had a girlfriend back home which didn't matter to me because it was just sex... Two years I have been having sex with him and then I would have sex with his BF. He was having sex with whom ever pleases. There came a time I had to choose between the two and I chose him. After that our lust turned into friendship. We went from ******* to actually kissing. I would usually leave after sex but then I started staying the night. That's when I finally realized I love this man. In 2010 I was pregnant and lost our child. I moved away and thought these feelings would go away but they won't. Now his girlfriend is pregnant and I know I need to leave him alone. It hurts that I have to and he will never know how I truely feel. I just wish I can finally let go : (
Blkbeauty1 Blkbeauty1 26-30 Apr 1, 2012

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