"i Bet She's Beautiful, That Girl He Talks About"

Well, i've known him even before he got his current girlfriend. I admit to my self, I do like him... like everything about him. I can say he likes me too, well he said it to my face. But i never answered back nor i say those 4 words "i like you too". I just didn't really see myself to be committed at that time. I'm a bit confused, i'm not assuming it would lead into a relationship but there's a tiny little hope in me i do wish we could be together. I enjoyed his company, i feel easy with him. I never expected a time where he grew cold and i miss him, indeed :/ because before it was all but happy memories :)

Months passed by, and we got the chance to talk and in the middle of our conversation he had mentioned the words "my gf", when he spoke those words, (if he's not in front of me or if he's just over the phone i expect my happy face with a smile would turn into a helpless face with a sour smile) a bit of me was dying inside. I tried to keep a smile. But that really had an impact on me. We still communicate and sometimes i can't understand his messages but I keep lying to myself and to my feelings. I'm happy for him. He's not for me, maybe not now... maybe someday it could be ours. But i'm moving on and trying to get over it. :/ sucks! Thou i'm not quite sure if i can call it love but i admit it was a bit painful. :)
greengavz greengavz
18-21, F
2 Responses Sep 10, 2012

I've been there...having an opportunity to be with someone who seemed so right...pass. I fell in love with him later, but it was too late and it took three years to get over him. but he wasn't the one after all :)

Part of it seems that you wanted to have the relationship, but you weren't ready to commit to him at that point. I'm somewhat unsure why you feel confused - either you care for someone or you don't. You wanted him to stay the way that he was (the way that you knew him) - being warm around you as well as the affection that he gave you (since he openly said to you that he liked you). <br />
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People change. It's not realistic to expect him to stay in the same place waiting for you to decide if you like him or not - you should be upfront with how you feel and honest about it. Even if you weren't ready for a relationship then, at least you would have been honest to how you felt back with him (and you both could have made choices ba<x>sed on that). <br />
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You shouldn't lie to yourself or what you feel. You don't have to follow through with you feelings (since they are feelings), but it's wrong to try to convince yourself otherwise. Part of you wanted that relationship - otherwise, why would you care if he had a girlfriend (and that it was someone else?) You're happy for him, but you also felt that you liked him (and wondered if you had a future or even a possibility of a relationship together). <br />
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If you really wanted that future with him, you should have been upfront and told him. Sending mixed messages or unclear messages won't provide clarity. Nor will being ambiguous and waiting around. <br />
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Why do you think he is being cold towards you?

Hmmm... i kinda agree with what you said " i want him to stay the way he was to me" but being committed isn't really what i prefer for now. sometimes we need affection that is different from what we feel from friends or from our parents. the ones that sends butterflies to our stomach, our friends can never let us feel that way. it's not easy as what you are saying. i hope it was. i'm holding back, i think i'm that kind of person. i'm not expressive, in words nor actions. :/ for now, i don't wanna be in the burden of thinking him with someone else, i should be happy instead at least that will help me make it thru and eliminate my feelings towards him, i won't stick to him not unless if they broke up and we will have time for each other. COLD, it's not different as before, i can really tell he's also holding back or maybe he had changed. idk.