I Know This Is A I Love As In Present ....

But i once fell in love with this guy that had a girlfriend. He caught my eyes the first time i saw him but i knew i was too young for him and i was sure he would never look at me twice. So i let it go for awhile plus it was a stupid little girl crush i knew it was going to go away. About a year later i saw him and his girlfriend at this party, he looked so sexy in his outfit and her well i rather not say what she looked like. Anyways when me and my friend went to grab some more margaritas he walked right my way n when we were face to face he said hi to me im not sure if i said it back but he was gone before i could react. Some nights later i got a msg and it was from him i smiled from cheek to check i could barely believe it. We talked for a il bit n then He asked if i could bring some movies to his place ( he lived in my neighborhood) i hesitated a little i dint know if i should but i decided i wasn't doing anything bad so i got ready ( it was 12 am i looked like ****) grabbed 2 random movies and headed to my car but decided to walk ( i dint want anyone seen me go to his place.)when i got to his place he was outside waiting on the porch. I stood in his small front yard kinda nervous. I dint move from tht spot that hour that i was there. We did nothing but talk n i realized he was more amazing that i tought. It became a routine going to his house i loved it there i would never go in though it scared me i dint want to do anything stupid considering he had a girlfriend and i dint want drama. She eventually found out me and him would see eachother and chill and she was not happy. Her white trash self never confronted me face to face but she did text me calling me a ***** ,ugly *****, even a lesbian( which really dint make sence. ) i wanted to tell her i wat was really on my mind but i decided to be classy and it worked. I convinced her that nothing was going on with me and him ( which was true at that point) and she apologized and told me she was sorry but ever since me and him became friends he hasn't been the same. That night i made the biggest mistake ever . I always had the mentality of no regrets but i ****** up. He invited me to eat at his house and i wasn't sure if i was ready to go in ( i dint trust myself). Well i ended up accepting his offer and i headed to his house. That night we ended up sleeping together. To be honest it was great , he was great. That night i told him that i liked him a lot but for us to be together i wasn't planning to be the side dish and he had to leave her. He eventually did and all was fine. Well this story dosent have a happy ending and the only thng i gained was experience . He ended up leaving me without any notice and he moved in with her. Till this day i never got why he did but he did. Ofcouse me i acted like it dint affect me i was made of rock. I was depressed tho and i eventually would cry myself to sleep. Later he did try to get me back but i just couldn't. He said it had hurt him to leave me but i never asked why he did. I was hurt but i loved him. His girlfriend found out we were in contact again and things got messy. I couldn't take more of it i made him choose me or her he said for me to wait but i knew he had already choosen when he said that so i ended it there. I cried and cried and cried. Every song reminded me of him . I was heartbroken. Idint understand why she had him and i was all alone. Me and him had chemistry a deep connection we could talk for hours( they could barely understand each other !) , i was more attractive than her ,better face,body, i was smarter . I was so much Better than her but all that couldn't keep him. She had one thing that i dint and that was his heart. In the end i was the villain of the story the only person that lost. They were happy together and i was left alone and in pieces. It took me awile to understand everything but till this day i still can't understand it all but i know if i had the Chance i would not had done it again. I was selfish and dumb to mess around with him but i grew from that experience and that i dont regret.
bibisoccer15 bibisoccer15
18-21, F
1 Response Dec 23, 2012

You wernt dumb and selfish at all. You were inlove that's all but you need to love your self more and not settle for any less. People's actions speak louder than words if he isn't willing to give you your place no matter how amazing he is cut them loose. He should have left her if he loved you and his girlfriend should of left him if she has any self respect. They both sound like crazy idiots your better of without that plus your worth so much more so don't settle for crumbs!