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Is This For Real?

He only came to me cause my husband ended up in jail. His mother was my friend, she sent him to check on me. But before that I had seen him and knew something. You ever just know something is gonna happen with someone. Any how This I believe true now because its been two years and I have gotten to know him and I have come to know her alittle bit better. Well I have managed to keep my feelings under wraps for him, I care of course I care, but I have managed to not let myself love him. He is not attainable. And he is not a man who would ever be mine. Unbelievable but I actually kept this in my reality. But he told me lately he loves me, he said he never expected to feel these feelings for me. I know we are just having a good time. He speaks of us leaving town, he takes risks of us being discovered more openly and often. There are more things I can tell you but I just wish I could get an unbiased opinion on the whole relationship.

katey402 katey402 41-45, F 4 Responses Jul 6, 2009

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You stated you have to "keep your emotions under wraps," and make sure you don't fall in love with this guy your "reality" .... Wow... Let's call it what it is "friends with benefits" but the real question is "who is benefiting?" You clearly have to make a strategic effort not to fall for this guy until when... your husband gets release and this fairy tail ends? Or like in the movies when the guy one days realizes you are his soul mate? Right....Rarely ever ends that way. To be honest I would expect this behavior from a someone that may be new to the dating game. But reviewing you age group and martial status this is nothing more than bad judgement on your part.



Honestly, if you can't handle being solely used for sexually purposes, late night caps & pillow talk, LET IT GO!!! Its nothing more than that.... He does not love you. He loves the convenience you provide, the no strings attached persona you struggle to keep up, he loves the forbidden fruit, the illusion that he is breaking all the rules, the rush of getting away with it. And when everything is said and done he returns to HIS reality, HIS GIRLFRIEND/WIFE

Sounds to me like he's having her cake and eating you too....lucky him. Unlucky you....and her. Unless you are good w/ sharing...don't share. It's not for everyone, and it doesn't sound like you're comfortable with it. Go find someone who will give you all their love & affection and not make you wonder if it's real.

yes---that age-old practice of 'keeping one on the side just in case'.....may be at play here, if he has not broken-up with his girlfriend.



i guess it is quite common. and i always thought i was so shy, insecure, fearful, etc---yet i am brave enough to see one guy at a time WITHOUT one on the side!

don't do or say anything unless he leaves his GF...If he is telling you he loves you while he's still with her, then he is just stringing you along..Or maybe BOTH of you!!