My Love...

Well he went back into hospital today.. less than a week after cominh home..Didnt react very well this am... (me) tears and tiny tantrum.. sheer frustration at being unable to help...never felt such utter helplessness.... least when gave the kidney i felt i was helping, but this is a urology thing...........nothing we have or can do..But after hugs and tears, we had stunning walk on the farm with dog, giggled and spent time together.I was hoping the problem would miraculously disappear amongst the trees and sunshine..to no avail...(of course..).So back up to London, ashamed t say more tears from both.i try and say that after 7 yrs its good we still miss each other.but it doesnt feel good......meant to be at party tonight but its out in country so im stuffed. dont know if would have done me good..havent told anyone apart from party girl.cos dont wanna feel i always go on.dont want t bring friends down.But also its better to keep it in, cos talking about it doesnt bring him back. lost friend this week to cancer, and keep thinking "at least i still have mine." things can always be worse.......so curl up with dog,bar chocolate and tomorrow.you guessed it.. over those magic healing hills! He ll be back soon........thanks for listening, and my hugs and love to ANYONE going through similar.xx
dirtylaugh dirtylaugh
36-40, F
Jul 10, 2010