It'll Never Be..

And it makes my heart ache! I love him so much! I don't even think he knows how much. We have been good friends for so many years. I can tell him anything! Anything at all. I'm always excited to talk to him! And care for him so much and just wanna squeeze him till his head pops off!

And he has hurt me. I let it happen to myself though. I know damn good and well he lives to far away for it to work! And we've talked about this. Both logically coming to the conclusion it's just TO much distance.

We had started getting a bit more... Erotic.. In some of our conversations.. And what have yous for quite a few months. It was fun! I won't lie. But he suddenly stopped talking to be for a while and eventually comes back and Apologieses for what he did and explained he got gotten invalid with this girl.. And how he's sorry he didn't just... Tell me in the first place. I said it was fine and was happy to have him as my friend again! I welcomed him with open arms!

A short time later the girl broke up with him. And he was sad and I was there for him. And I finially got the whole story. The girl lived just as far away as I do. I was silently crushed! But just accepted it. If he doesn't love me like that, that is fine to. I'm happy just to know him! But that really hit home for me.

It makes me feel so used... And disposable to him. I'm apparently the girl he comes to when there - isnt anybody else- ... I know it's not completely like that... But I feel like that sometimes and it hurts so bad.. And I don't wanna say anything because I already told him it was ok. And what would it resolve anyway?
Zforzombie Zforzombie
22-25, F
1 Response Oct 17, 2013

long distance is tough no doubt, and with guys it is very easy to "use" girls and we girl get carried away with our emotions and we start expecting positiv things like loyality, love and to be in their first priorities becoz we love them so much we want the same amount of love back naturally i understand you fully. i hv been in or iam in such relationship have faught alot and i knw after so many prbs btween us before and now that evenhough i sacrify most i do it out of love and he does love me just nt as much as i lve him.. and im hoping my efforts will bear fruit one day. and i hope the same strenght and good for you. best wishes