He's All That I Want, But He's Married.Just about six months ago, I became friends with this man on FB. There was no hesitations on my part accepting his friend request at first, knowing that he's an acquaintance of my cousin. I thought it would go like an ordinary friend request on FB (from someone you personally do not know), which goes from a request, then to a few chats, and then eventually that person becomes just a "dormant" FB friend. In my case, it didn't.
From the time of the request, I already know he was married because he had his family picture as a profile picture. We are 8,000miles apart from each other, on different time zones so I thought the friendship will be fairly superficial. I'm 21, he's 30.
After accepting his request, he immediately tried chatting with me. I didn't mind since I wasn't busy that time. On that first conversation we had, he kept on telling me how he thinks I'm beautiful - repeating it to me countless times. It was very flattering. We chatted for about an hour, talking about ourselves. Towards the end of the conversation, I realized how much fun I had talking to him; and I had this feeling that I'd want to chat with him again.
The following days, we talked more frequently. We chat usually when it's late in the night where I live, while he was at the office on the other side of the world. Consequently, he had plenty of time on his hands and it was safe since he's not using their home laptop. Days passed, and we got to know each other. We also did video calling, making us feel closer to each other. I felt like I can tell him everything. I was comfortable with him, even to the point that I'd talk about naughty stuff with him. I'm still a virgin, and no one knows about the naughty side of me since I present myself as "prim and proper" to the public. I felt the freedom to release the inner me with him. He made me feel good about it. Consequently, he was being open to me as well- which I came to know that I am becoming his "comfort zone" - someone whom he freely shares what he really feels inside. We didn't conceal our true selves from each other. We were giving each other a blind benefit - a private and exclusive unveiling of each other. I absolutely have no regrets doing this.
Over time, he started confessing that he feels something about me. He told me that he loves me. I couldn't deny, I feel the same way. He was more than a friend to me. He was my refuge during a rough day, my outlet, my listener, my living journal. I love him, but I cannot deny the fact that I'm bothered about his wife and his kids. I worry that I might completely take him away from them. I'm worried about wrecking a family. My conscience was telling me to drop everything from that point, but my heart was clinging to his significance in my life. There was not a single day that I didn't think about him - and his family. However, no matter how much I try to I control myself, I cannot. I admitted to him that I love him as well. And so it started, I became his mistress from across the miles.
Being open to each other, the relationship deepened to something sexual, though virtual. He confessed how the mere fact of seeing me (my face) onscreen and hearing my voice gets him aroused. I get the same effect whenever I think of him. Our conversation became more adult, I tell him the naughty stuff I do and how I touch myself. He tells me what to try, and he gives me scenarios I'd think about while I play with myself - for example he'd give details on how he'd make love with me. He became my s*x ob
Until now, I still love him, but I am still worried about us getting caught by the wife. I'm worried about what might come after that if ever it does happen. I really do not want to destroy a family, but I can't hold back my feelings as well. I'm in a dilemma. But I'm certain I love him. I also got to know how much he cares for his two little girls, and it only made me want him more. He is the kind of father that I want my future babies to have. He's the husband I am dreaming of, but he's already married.
crimsoninnocence 31-35, F 3 Responses 1 Mar 4, 2011