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I Am Having An Affair With My First True Love

OK - here's my story.

My husband dumped me over the phone after a 7 year relationship, married for 3 and a half years. He was 11 years my junior and I supported him in his aspiration to become a commercial pilot - he ended up costing me over $35,000. He left me for some chick he flies with. I am also a pilot, though just for fun.

I now have a very, very special man in my life - I guy I knew 26 years ago..my first true love, you could say, at the tender age of 15. He's a few years older than me, but the chemistry we had is still very much there. He was a Phys Ed teacher (not MY teacher) and nothing ever happened between us, apart from a very deep friendship and a mutual lust between us that could not and did not happen, in that time or space, because of our respective places in the community, not helped by us being in a pretty small country town. He truly was the most magnificent specimen of a male I had ever seen - a sentiment shared by every young woman in that town!!

However, I looked him on up facebook, on a whim, and lo and behold, there he was!!!

It's funny -  it only took a few weeks for us to figure out that we had to lead our respective lives apart for 26 years, before we finally hooked up. He is married, but effectively in a loveless and sexless marriage that died years ago, with a woman who shares no interest in his life - he has 3 daughters, youngest doingfinal year of High School. I never forgot this guy, and guess what? He never forgot me either.....

He has told me that he has only ever loved two women in his life  - his wife and me. He has NEVER been unfaithful before and I believe him, because of his demeanour with me when we first got physical. He was so nervous, it was kind of really sweet.

He is seriously contemplating leaving the marriage, but his biggest fear is losing the affection of his girls. I have told him that IF he leaves, it should be because of HIM not being happy, and not for me. Where will this end? I have no idea - but we are perfect together and we are enjoying each other immensley - finally, he has found the person he should have been with all along. We share so many interests, something that never happened with his wife.

I'm lucky to have had the experience of falling in love twice with this guy......

 

firsttruelove firsttruelove 41-45, F 20 Responses Apr 6, 2008

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My first love and I shared an intense and passionate relationship for 2 years beginning the summer of my junior year. I can't even begin to explain the way I felt about him and have never come close to feeling that way with anyone else, including my current husband. I'll explain that in more detail later.

My FL asked me to marry him on my eighteenth birthday and I happily said yes. My parents weren't too thrilled and my mother constantly told me why it was wrong. I was leaving for college that fall and he and I prepared for a long distance relationship. We were so certain we could make it work... a couple months later I started to push him away. I could blame a number of things for my actions but I think fear of commitment and a lack of experiences were the biggest factors. We parted ways and went on with our separate lives. I ended up partying too much in college and flunked out. I ran back to my hometown and struggled to find my way. By chance we ran into each other again and it was as if nothing had ever gone wrong. The spark ignited instantly and we were inseparable for the next two weeks. The weird part is that currently neither he or I can recall what happened exactly the second time... it's not that we're a little fuzzy about the details. It is as if the memory of us parting ways the second time was completely erased from memory. I remember being so completely in love and happy again and then it switches to darkness and void.

I went on in our small town and he eventually left to join the military. He met a woman in the service, married her and had three kids. I eventually got my own act together and finished school. I never truly cared for another person the way I did for him, but I met my husband in 2009 and we dated for 3 short months before I found out I was pregnant (while on birth control). He asked me to marry him when I was about 6 months pregnant and I said yes. I loved him then and I still love him now. I will always love him for giving me the gift of motherhood but it will never be the love I shared with my first love.

My marriage has waned into this routine of responsibility and habit and I've been thinking of divorce for over a year. We've talked and made attempts at rekindling the love we shared at the beginning. It hasn't worked.

Just three short days ago my mother brought me things of mine she found when she recently moved including my senior photos and the journal I kept from that year as well. My first love and I became friends on Facebook and have awkwardly spoken a time or two and relived old memories. My heart felt heavy every time I looked at his pictures. I still loved him after all this time. I knew it in my heart but thought it was a hopeless emotion considering our situations. The day I got the stuff from my mom I posted the photos to Facebook and messaged my ex with an excerpt from my journal the day he asked me to marry him. The conversation flowed like flood waters from there. I learned that his wife had cheated on him and has made his life misery every day since. He's been saving up for a divorce. I explained my situation, refraining from telling him the real reasons I didn't think it was working-like the fact that I still loved him. We were talking about old times and memories when he sent me a link to a music video, the song was Springsteen by Eric Church. After a couple days of laughing and sharing things became more serious. We confessed our love for each other today.

I feel like my life is finally making sense... we are making plans for our departures from our spouses and the beginning of our new life together. It may seem crazy to anyone else, but to us it's the only thing we want. I'll be damned if I live a life without the person I consider my soul mate. It's going to be hard, but I'm convinced our love will make it through.

Dear Sweet thing. Advise your old high school crush to go to his wife, talk with her about his feelings, be honest with her. IF he loved her enough to marry her and have children and bring three wonderful kids into the world that he appears to care about, advise him to take his wife to marriage enrichment counseling. All relationships have cycles due to the ebb an flow of life and responsibilities. Commitment is what love is when infatuation wanes. Romance is highest during infatuation phase and cycles in the marriage based upon the two peoples energy and commitment to it. Its too hot too stay on continuously, but mature love does. Tell him because you are a decent human being you will not act on your desires, bid him goodbye and unfriend him on FB. Please do it now. Don't be selfish and hurtful. Find someone else to fall in love with NOT HIM. Please. I beg of you. You will end up suffering more later for what you do to his family. -"I Dun Been Der"

I hope the two of you are together now.

I thoroughly enjoyed reading your post. As a matter of fact, I thought I was reading about myself for a minute. It was actually quite refreshing knowing that someone else does what I have been doing for the passed 4-5 years.

However, I have made a choice to stop and go on with my life, as his messages have stopped. Our communication has stopped. I try to justify all the reasons why things have changed. He too, has told me that he don't love his wife that he loves me, and that he can't leave bc of his minor children--fearing that she will not make financial choices to provide for them like he would. He tried leaving once, but his family has a huge influence over him (as most families do) and made him feel inferior bc the children would not have their father there everyday. Whereas I told him that there would be less arguing, less stress, more sex, more money (bc his wife would be blowing every penny on yet another article of Elvis or pair of shoes instead of paying the power bill or water bill), and did I mention MORE SEX?

I had realized that I was deeply tied with chains of mental bondage and it was causing me to start having other issues in my life that was spiraling out of control. I am such a social butterfly, but from not being able to see and spend time with my fella like before, I have become reserved and anti-social. I have become grouchy and irritable over the least things and short fused with my own child and family. I have resorted to old habits and really, just anything that was allowing me to find comfort in what I was not getting.

I don't know if your life is happy or if you, like me, was hanging on for 1 more day to hopefully make a difference--that he would FINALLY "wake up and see the light" and come around to your way of thinking. I pray that's not the case. I know that education and TIME heals all wounds. I have never resorted to drugs or any kind of medication to help me get thru the hard times. I am scared of getting hooked and becoming less of a person/mother. I've seen it happen tooooooo many times. So, as it is, it was comforting to know that I am not the only person that has loved a man I couldn't have for years, I am gonna try (yet for the millionth time) to stop the insanity and try to overcome the chain of mental bondage. Thing is, I can't tell my family. I can't tell my pastor. I can't tell my closest friends. All for the fears of them judging me and labeling me for doing something I KNEW IN THE BEGINNING was wrong. There would be nothing more than a big ole fat "I TOLD YOU SO" if I did.

Signed,
Million and 1 Tries

Wow. I read all of these stories and see a little bit of myself in each one. Like so many of you, I am married. He is married. But to different people. My first love/lost love dated in college and had a beautiful whirlwind relationship which continued for over two and a half years. We were briefly engaged but my parents (particularly my mom) was so adamantly against him that she did everything to keep us apart, including withholding letters from him that he wrote to me during one summer that we were apart. (we lived in different states). When I was 19, I left home for a few months to be with him but neither of us could reconcile the volatility of how badly my mom tried to keep us apart. We eventually broke up and each of us married other people. Nine years later, he was divorced. He contacted me but by then, I had two very small children. We met for a coffee and had a beautiful reconnection, one that was platonic and pure in every way. I was then and still am in a very quietly loving relationship and yet I have thought about him so many times over the years. I have also found myself retelling the story as though we "couldn't have been together because we were too much alike" but the truth is ... we had more passion than two people could ever have! This past January, while driving home one evening, I had this overwhelming feeling that I needed to find him, that somehow he could help me fill in the gaps as to why we never made it, why we didn't just throw caution to the wind and hope that my mom and others would eventually make peace with our being together. It took me over two hours and eventually I located him. I dialed what I hoped to be his number and sure enough, I had found him. It's now been over 4 months. We talk on the phone. We reminisce. We laugh. We cry. We wonder. Not long ago, I received a text. It was early morning. He was going to be traveling close to where I live (about two hours away). He asked if I would come to see him. I did. And it was so incredibly beautiful. It was as though we never left each other, not one day. He shared with me stories of his life since we parted and I did the same. We both agree that the crazy side of us wants to say, "to hell with it all" and run off together. But he knows and I know that life is not just about the passion that burns or the chemistry or even the friendship that is as deep as the ocean. It's about others that we have brought into our lives. It's about our kids (mine are now grown but his is very young). It's about our spouses who are good and innocent people. I love him like I have never loved anyone else and I truly don't think that will ever go away. He and I have agreed that it would be way too much heartache to entertain anything more than what we have and that is a deep and long abiding friendship. And so we live our lives ... as the best of friends. As former lovers who most likely had their chances stolen from them. As people who are fortunate enough to have loved deeply and never really let each other go. He said it well one time on the phone when he said, "your mom never kept us apart; she just postponed it". My mom is still alive (my father passed away last year) and I have come to forgive her and I am very close to her now. I know that she did what she thought was right. It wasn't. I know that. He knows that. But I have to go to my grave knowing there are reasons for certain things or I will go crazy trying to figure out the whys. For all of you who have lost that "one person" .... remember this .... if you are blessed to have known love, you are blessed indeed. And sometimes ... it's best to put aside the longing and the passion and live out the purity of the relationship, knowing that it is far better than the potential of heartache. I love him and he knows that. And he loves me and I also know that. But that's what we have now and that's more than I could have hoped for since our parting of ways so long ago.

Wow I was bawling reading your story. I too recently reconnected with someone who I have always loved. I truly believe we are soulmates. In the one who is married he never got married. I'm really hurting so badly because I know we can't be together. I can't hurt my family. I'm really contemplating getting intimate with him, but for one time and then saying my goodbye's. No matter how much it breaks my heart to let him go. I don't know what to do. Am I going to regret taking it to the physical level .

I too am seeing my first love as I wrote about in I Am The Other Woman. But while I never forgot him and he now contends we screwed up by breaking up 36 years ago, I feel the same way, yet, at the same time I believe if it were really meant to be, we'd have been together. I can see too many reasons it might not have worked but as adults, we've come so far and I could definitely see it working now. <br />
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I wish you all the best.

Oh my, this is so difficult reading all the stories and posts above. I find it reassuring that other people are going through the exact same thing I am. I was with my FL from age 14 to 20 and I always loved him, but I knew he loved me more. I broke it off because I found it too stifling at 20! I got married at 25, my husband was a schmuck - he had affair just after my son was born - 9 years ago and I sort comfort from my FL who still wanted me deperately, but I decided to try and rebuild my marriage. Then the Husband has a second affair and I have thrown him out and we are separated. I reconnected with FL 6 months after the husband had moved out - so ladies - they do leave their wives sometimes! FL feels exactly the same as he always has - I do not want him to leave his wife as I have been on that side of the fence and it is awful! He lives 500 miles away and is in the military so is away lots anyway, but I miss him so much. He would ring me both going to and from work, constant text and emails and it was if we had never been apart! What to do?? should I pursue him and have the man who says he has thought of no one since he was 14 and he got his arm twisted into getting married, should I keep him as my friend, should I break it all off with him? I want the whole fantasty happy ending thing but I know, deep down, that is sentimental rubbish and I should move on, but my life has been barren and now it is blooming and FL is responsible for a great deal of that. I miss him and he misses me and life just feels too shart not to grab opportunities when they arise.

This is my story. He won't leave because of the kids. I am going through a depression after a 2 year relationship with the love of my life from high school. He recently ended things b/c he said he just couldn't leave the kids. That, if he did, he feared they would never forgive him. "He will always love me, always has and always will. His children will never realize the sacrfice he is making letting me go. That, he will never be truly happy and that he will miss me as long as he is breathing." This was the worst day of my life. Please don't do this to yourself. I sought out a counsleor today, I just can't believe that I have to live my life knowing he loves me but won't leave his wife for fear of someone else replacing him as a father, not seeing them every night, not knowing how they will react in the future. I will pray for you. End it with him. They never leave their wives. I thought I was special, that we had a unique kind of love. And I know he does love me, but not enough and not the way I love him. He can apologize and say he has to live with what he has done to me for the rest of his life. And he should. B/c he broke me, my hopes and dreams and belief of true love. To be able to believe in happiness, passion again. I am hurt, angry, embarrased, devastated, broken. DON"T LET HIM DO IT TO YOU. PLease, you dont' want to hurt like me.

I left him ages ago and I am no longer in love with him. Same excuse - "The kids will never forgive me..blah, blah..." We were "friends with benefits for a while. Now? I don't love him and I don't respect him. I actually found him on a dating website (with a photo I'd taken of him!) lying about his age (wiped 8 years off, lol) saying he was separated and living in a different suburb. He had sunk to new lows in my eyes, and I told him so, in no uncertain terms. He replied "Greetings.
In reflection, I can honestly say I do not like how I have changed and what I have become. I have learnt much about myself and others along the way but undersatnd that choices are made by all of us, many unwise. You have made a few assumptions, many unfounded. I have unsuscribed, so that is possibly why you think you have been blocked, however I know the changes I need to make to hopefully change my direction in life. Time has been set aside to work through the process along with a place overseas for a number of weeks alone. Thanks for alerting me to what I had failed to do."

He's a KNOB. Yeah, work on your marriage by running away overseas....again. Please believe me. You are better off WITHOUT him, as hard as that seems right now. I know that I am SO GLAD he is no longer an important part of my life. As I said, I loved and adored him. Now, I pity him and the sad, empty life he is pretending to "live". In essence, he is just "existing", not living. I don't miss him, He is pathetic and shallow and I pity him, more than anything else. Learn from my mistakes everyone!! I'm happy and free :))))

I'm in the boat with you. I am looking forward to being able to move on as the OP has done.

I wish I had read this months ago when you both were talking. I am now in this same boat as, I too, have made the decision to leave my mm and not be falling to his empty words and lack of action in his intentions. Same story, won\'t leave bc of his kids. Wants to wait till they are older so they will understand.... yatta yatta yatta! I know time is all that can heal my pain, and everyday is a new day. I have never been addicted to anything but currently I feel like I can\'t breathe. I don\'t want to know what tomorrow will be like without him. I don\'t want to spend the weekend NOT wondering what he\'s doing and if he\'s thought of me today. All the reasons why I should have left years (4-5 yrs) ago. I know I am doing the right thing, but that don\'t make my heart hurt any less. I too went to counseling after my 2nd divorce and it did help. I may resort to such things again. Thing is, I KNOW what I should do. It\'s just convincing my heart that it\'s the things to do that is the hardest part. I have deleted all his contacts from my phone, social media, and other places. I have removed all his pics. Even the friends associated with him. Please pray for me as I undergo this the journey that only time will heal. God please be with me! Thanks ya\'ll...

oh boy! I am in an emotional affair with my first love too! i was 13, he was the paperboy! we were together all through high school..we live in different states, and i am in town taking care of my dying mother. my husband is at home taking care of things. i have loved this man for 40 years, always learning bits and peices of him, and suddenly he is here! He is divorced, i am married! I broke up with him many years ago, and he told me he never loved his wife, he always loved me. we only had sex once, but he comes over and we talk just like old times, i have no intentions of leaving my husband...is it possible to love 2 men? i don't won't to hurt him again, he is a good man, he raised his children by himself, he works 2 jobs, and is still making time for me. i do love him, i always have...i get so excited when he calls..and after i talk to him, i call my husband! getting so confused, especially because i feel no guilt..he had me first, and when we are together i am happy.

Enjoy your life and the people you choose to be apart of it.

well, after my posting on April 21st, I'm still just as confused as ever. But, I still know I need to break free from him - as I don't feel it'll ever be just us and I deserve to be the ONLY woman (besides his daughter) in his life!! <br />
<br />
as far as trust goes - I am losing it quickly. This relationship was built 30 years ago on friendship and love, and has remained that way for a LONG time. But, our reuniting has been built on infidelity and if he does it with me on her, will he do the same to me?!?!?!? It's difficult to determine that - especially when someone pursues you and attempts at all costs to keep you in his life. (that's his reasoning - he NEEDS me in his life - anyway he can have me). <br />
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I still feel moving would be my best option. Distancing myself from him and the memories. I know it doesn't change the way I feel or ever will and don't feel as though I will EVER be with another (though others say there's someone out there for me). But, how can you be with someone else and be true when he's always in the back of your mind and your love for him stands? <br />
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I realize he made a promise to another family and before God, but, he also broke that promise when he started this up with me. So, if he choses to stay in a "cold marriage" and just "go thru the motions" as he puts it, then that's his choice. I just know I could not be with someone when the fire is gone, even if it is for the children. Everyone deserves happiness!! I had found mine in him 30 years ago and most of the time for the past 2 years. I have ACTUALLY loved and lived and learned this time and will take that with me. I will love him passionately til the day I die, but, loving him and having him are two different things - for he is not truly committed to either me nor his wife.

from what i just went through............please tread carefully read my story.........PLEASE! do not end up broken as i am now. It's a beautiful dream and hope and it can all be shattered in a heart beat as it happened to me. I really hope all goes well for you and you are blessed with the second chance. I wasn't as blessed.

It is interesting to see how many people actually hook up again with their "first loves'! Two years ago, that is exactly what happened to me too....reconnected with my one true love after nearly 30 years! Yep, he was married.....locked out of his wife's bedroom for several years. He made it very clear from the first night we talked that he had made a commitment before God and was going to stay with her til death do they part. There were never any promises made about someday we would be together. We actually live halfway across the country from each, so we've only actually been face-to-face 6 or 8 times in two years, but we talked on the phone for hours every day, and came to care about each other very much, and "love' was mentioned many times, and I had never been happier in my life!!! Then a few weeks ago, he totally stopped calling. Wouldn't answer my calls, texts or emails. I began to worry, thinking that maybe something was seriously wrong with him, but I didn't know anyone to contact to check on him. This week I found out that he had moved another woman (who he'd also known many years ago) from another state to the state where he lives now. I was totally blindsided, and he never even called to say that he was seeing someone else, or didn't want to see me anymore.......just walked away without a word. The very same thing he did to me 30 years ago.......A man I had never forgotten in all these years, and was so thrilled to reconnect with again, and had fallen in love with again. Lesson learned......doesn't matter how old a man gets, some things NEVER change! And I'm left here devastated and betrayed all over again. So my advice.......stay away from old loves who wronged you once before. It will come back to bite you on the butt again!

Sometimes it's good to know you're not the only person out there having the same dilemma!! <br />
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I have been having an affair with my first love for almost 2 yrs now. We reconnected at our 20th HS reunion. He tried to contact me after that nite several ways. Going to the restaurant where I work, unfortunately it was the wrong city, contacted one of the organizers of the reunion for a phone number or address and attempted to find me. The only way I knew about this was running into the organizer at the post office. I did call him - curious as to WHY he needed to see or talk to me. He stated he felt there were things that needed to be said, but, never were. We stayed in contact here and there, nothing physical - only emails, letters and cards and an occasional visit (we lived in different states). He made it VERY clear that he was married and had no intentions of getting out of his marriage. I was still married with intentions of getting a divorce (which I eventually did), and was afraid of my feelings coming back out for him.<br />
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After about 5 years of no contact, he called me out of the blue in May, 09. It has been a whirlwind since!! I had plans of moving back to my hometown after my youngest daughter graduated and almost talked myself out of it til he called. I more or less moved back to be near him. I misinterpretted things he said. He and his wife weren't getting along. He still loved me - I was the love of his life. We do have a special connection - all the way to 'sympathy pains' for the other. <br />
I do love him, as I know he does me. But, still he stays in what he calls a "loveless marriage" cause he made a committment to another family. <br />
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I suppose one of the reasons for holding on was I NEVER stopped loving him. My youngest daughter is named after him. I have never felt more loved or been more vunerable in my life.<br />
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At times I want to just move from here, hoping that the distance would help with the heartbreak of getting over him. Don't see any possibility of us being together unless their marriage should happen to fall apart after his youngest graduates. I am SOOOO confused!! It maked NO sense in the things he does. <br />
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He takes me out in public, we hold hands, or he will kiss me. Never showers or washes up before going home. Has wanted me to bite his neck and leave marks. I have 2 white haired dogs, his is brown! Now, he has brought up me working for him and his friend when they start there business up in 3 months!! His wife knows about us from dating in our teens. Supposedly he told her he loved her, but, would never love another like me. I told him I would have never married him if he told me that. So, what's to happen if she walks in the business and here I am sitting at the front desk?<br />
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Any suggestions????

I'm happier than ever being out of my marriage and the toxic extra marital affair. I'm not sorry either events happened, but I'm in a really good place right now and I've learnt many lessons. To sam58 - I'm sorry that your husband acted that way. Mine did too. He left me for a younger woman, after I'd supported him for many years and spent a small fortune so he could pursue his career. I've been on both sides of the fence, but I'm running in a free paddock now!

why is it that the women who are having an affair wih their 'first love' always believe the man when they say that oh my marriage is loveless sexless and lacks affection doesnt it ever occur to these women that they are full of **** have they never saw the heartache the lonliness the sorrow when the man you love out of the blue turns away treats you like a stranger yes youve prob guessed im that woman who was passionate who was in love and did give her man attention for 32years only to find out hes besotted with his ex she has lived apparently with her husband separate lives for six years after he cheated on her well hey ! does that mean she has the right to destroy someone elses life he has now bought a house with her never gave me a second thought or his sons i could tell a lot of the weird things he said and done before he was found out its been a year since he left and i miss him with all my heart and still love him but hes gone and thats it well i hope one day he realizes what he had my life has been hell its only now getting better woe betide anyone who says onwads and upwards cause it just dont happen like that!!!

Thank you for sharing your outcome with me. I'm so sorry things did not turn out better for you. I was really hoping for a happy ending. My first love is living under a microscope now also since his wife found out and his oldest daughter will not speak to him. She also works where he works so she monitors his actions at work everyday. But that's the life he's chosen and no matter how much I love him and open my heart to him he wants that life. I'm slowly coming to terms with this being the end for us but it still hurts like hell. <br />
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Are you happier now on your own than you were in your marriage? I can honestly say that gaining my independence from my marriage was the best thing to come out of this. I wish you all the best.

I’m definitely happier now I’m on my own again! I relish my freedom and the fact that I don’t have to answer to anyone. If I want to sleep in and read a good book, I can. If I want to stay up late, I can. If the house is a mess, it’s MY mess

Mouse69 - we are no longer together.<br />
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I realised after a year, that he was never going to leave his wife - because of his three kids (who are all adults now) and also money. He didn’t want to ever jeopardize the relationship he has with his kids.<br />
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His wife discovered an incriminating text that he’d sent me on his cell phone and actually confronted him, with all the kids standing beside her. She had worded them up on what she’d found on his phone. Of course, he tried to weazle his way out of, but they didn’t believe him.<br />
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He admitted that he’d met “someone” online and had only “had a coffee with her, once….” That was enough. They went to marriage counselling (he went, but really didn’t want to go), his daughters refused to speak with him (and are still not fully reconciled with him) – then he disappeared off for 3 months by himself overseas. He’d been planning this trip for a while, and wasn’t going to change his plans for anybody, even though he left a whole family in turmoil. He saw it as a way of “clearing his head” – I saw it as just running away from the problem and not facing up to it. If he truly cared so much about his daughters, he would have delayed his trip and tried to reconcile with them.<br />
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I lost a lot of respect for him at that point and found it incredibly selfish on his part – and I told him to not contact me whilst he was gone. I told him that he needed to come back with a decision one way or another – and that he needed to make that decision without me in his life for that period.<br />
<br />
Well, he came back to a very frosty reception to the family (surprise, surprise!!) and told me that he wouldn’t leave his wife, for the above reasons. Plus, he is very tight with his money and has a fair bit of it! A divorce would cost him half his fortune.<br />
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He still tries to keep in touch and I’ve seen him a few times since all that happened. I don’t love him anymore. His actions reflected his true motives – he’s selfish and money-hungry. I told him in the end “My love had a price tag that you simply weren’t prepared to pay…..”<br />
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That was in relation to his relationship with his kids and he financial aspect.<br />
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He continues to be watched like a hawke from his wife, who monitors his every move and constantly checks his cell phone, he’s miserable as hell and his kids are still pretty frosty towards him. What a great life he’s carved out for himself. No-one in that family is really happy……….but no-one wants to change. All in all, I think that’s a pretty stuffed up way to run your life, but that’s their call!!

This is a very interesting story. I too have reconnected with my first love except both of us are married. We've been together for a while now and I'm currently separated. His wife recently discovered our EMA so we haven't seen each other in over a month and a half. I've talked to him a little but he's trying to fix his relationship with his kids so he has put me on hold. I hope things have continued to work out for you and would be interested in getting an update on your situation.

i am so happy for you.. but don't u think that its unfair and that he has to make his choice. i really understand u; when u fall in love, u see things in a defferent way.. i hope that you two will stay together.