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I Love a Married Man

How Do I Say Goodbye?

By: Excellsior1
Written on June 18th, 2012
Hello im 24 yr old girl and without boring you all with my story I've basically had a crush on a married man for 3 years and recently we started seeing each other. I'm at the point now where this physical and emotional attachment I have with him is breaking me. I hate him so much for making me feel all things feelings and most of all I hate that I love him. I need the courage to tell him it's over I want to and I need to because my life is just me waiting for the next time I see him or hear from him, it's driving me crazy but I can't do it, I'm so scared of never seeing him again I write in a text I'm sorry I can't to this anymore this is wrong but I can't send it. If this is ever going to end it will because he ends it but I don't know how long that will be. I can't talk to anyone about this because I am ashamed, I can't let go and I need to. If anyone has any advise for me I would really appreciate it
By: Excellsior1
Age: 22-25 , Female
1,086 people have read this story

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5 responses
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    crazymhee
    crazymhee

    hello..i am also at the same situation..making me crazy all the time..feel pity to myself that i just let my self to fall in love with him..now,i really don't know how i am going out in that crazy world..i'm so afraid because once he has given me a threat,he wants me to stay with him forever..but i also need to find the real happiness,i want to build my own family but the question is how??? the most hard thing for me to do is pretending to his family that we're just doing work together without any attachment...but then the real is we're betraying his wife,she's so nice to me that's why my conscience is eating me slowly..just like a melting candle,.Oh God please forgive me...

    Dec 11, 2012
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    angelamaxy
    angelamaxy

    hi i m in the same situation as you are, i also don't know what should i do. should we hit our head to the wall, so we will lose the memories about that love!

    Jul 18, 2012
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    lalaland0325
    lalaland0325

    Well,.... Wow! All I can say is Yes it is very difficult.

    You and I are on the same boat. Is sad how we can give someone unconditional love and we get a few hours or mins...and is all in a "rush". Tell you this, we need to face reality, We need to be brave and face the fact that we are the "side girls".... I can't believe I'm actually saying this to you as I'm also going through the same dilema, but I except that I deserve best. You too deserve the best. I know I'm so close to saying by to this affair and not ever put myself on a situation where choosing is so dam hard! I cry myself to sleep sometimes, but it doesn't help, I know my problem as I also know my solution is determination...is making that choice of loving yourself again and not except a pt love but rather opening your heart to love and for someone to love us FT. :/ good luck!... to the both of us.

    Jun 25, 2012
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      Excellsior1
      Excellsior1

      Thanku so much for ur advise, I know how u feel, I hope uve managed to stay away and realized the truth about these bad men, im still very hurt bout the situation and every time I think bout him but I'm doing okay so far no contact for a while and everyday I feel down I remind myself that he's just a story in the chapter of my life, a lesson to make me stronger, I've def learnt that as soon as I find out a guy is unavailable I will view them a lot different because I will never again fall for someone who cant even see me and i wont ever allow someone to be my priority while allowing myself to be their option, I hate how confusing and helpless I feel but hopefully Eventually I will stop caring, hope things r good with u

      Jun 27, 2012
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      lalaland0325
      lalaland0325

      Oh boy oh boy!
      I just met with him today for lunch, Not sure when would this stop!, but I did mentioned to him that I want to be okay with god and with myself... I'm a catholic and he is married under a catholic church also and cheating the way he is is a deadly sin.."" I told him if he really loves me like he says he does, then we will end up together one way or the other, he agreed. I told him to stay away for now and really think hsi next step whether is to be w/me or with his wife or to lastly be alone and figure out what he wants. I'm separated frm a 5yr marriage myself. I come from a marriage full of lies and pain... But this man even though he is married he has showed me otherwise and how much.a man can appreciate me..I'm talking with leaving a side his marital status.. I met MM when he was engaged...when he got married he walked away...few wks later there he was...and there was me.. we have kept in touch for almost since the First day we met. Honestly I feel like he is my soulmate we have so so much in common is scary!, I'm leaving everything up to god and hopefully he can Guide us through this through this whether or not he is to be with me. I'm not selfish so I honestly wish him to find peace somewhere for his well being and my well being and so that I can move forward with my miserable happy life..yeah...it is bitter sweet. me.

      Jun 27, 2012
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