I'm In Love With A Married Man

I have a relationship with a married man for almost 2 years and yes he is the love of my life. It is the very first time I'm joining a forum with regards to this. I'm separated for 3 years now, my ex husband left me and two kids for another married woman who has 2 daughters, I was devastated. I was coping well but lonely. I started going out with my colleague at work 10 months after our separation, Ive been working with this man for 3 years and he is very likeable, but hasn't disclosed any personal details to me or other co workers, as years went by, we thought he has kids but never married. He has two good man friend where we work and that's what they thought too. Later on after few dates, I've asked him where is the mother of his kids... He simply said, he has fallen out of love... I respected and believed on what he said. Then a news came to me from one of our colleague who happens to have a common friend with his wife... I was devastated, I'm already in love with him. I searched his name on the net and there is a name that always is attached to his. It was confirmed he was married. I felt cheated, we are good friends for years before dating and he knew how vulnerable I am that time. He helped me along the way and now ended up worse. We've talked and he explained that they are leaving together but almost separated, no sex for 3 years. We've cooled off but then... Found myself accepting everything and on his arms. He got me pregnant but I have to have TOP not to make his life complicated... Love him so much. Many days give by... I anonymously emailed his wife to know the real score I found out that his telling the truth, I did not identify myself but gave her a clue of him having an affair... They nearly broke up... But worked things out for the sake of kids and surely for love as well. He left me alone but I have to bitterly accept the fact and that is the right thing he had to do, tried moving on, but he came back into the scene... And got me again..... We grew deeper.... I'm a full pledge other woman... Then he found out about the email that i sent to his wife and my attempt to move on by joining a dating site. He was furious, he said I hurted him badly, he stopped me seeing other guy friends. It was a hell for me... There are days he will never call or reply on txt. So we parted again but kept in touch as friends... Later on after 2 months we ended up together again, but not like when we started I see him less less and less. And I saw him few times with wife and children they are in better dynamics, surely things have changed... I felt I was used by the person who I thought truly cared for me... He doesn't leave me 100 percent but his with me barely 5 percent. I love him still up to this day.... But I wanted to ask you guys what should I do.... He's the only person that brings me joy at the same time immense pain. Pls. Help!
An Ep User An EP User
2 Responses Jan 23, 2013

Are you interested in telling your story in a documentary about infidelity? A lot of people would love to hear your point of view! I'd love to discuss the opportunity further. Please email me at workitcasting@gmail.com

Remember how u felt when your husband left you for another woman? Even if they are so called "out of love" that woman is probably feeling what you felt. There is always a loser in an affair and with that loss you can change someones life negatively. Scar them for life. Not trying to tell u what to do here but think about the pain you felt when u were abandoned. Do you wish that pain on anyone?

I agree with the whole property bit because everyone is human and make their own decisions like you stated. But someone who is married is making a pact to love that person conditionally through thick and thin. Having an affair is essentially breaking the pact that someone made when saying I DO. Any relationship is nothing without Love Trust and Communication and with having and affair your essentially breaking a three.

Will never wish that pain to anyone! But will take that 10 times myself than being the other woman. It is far more painful to love a man that will never be yours at all.