I Loved A Married Man

7 passionate years, a million empty promises and shame is what I got from loving a married man. My story is true and goes back 20 years. I met a man who was a banquet manager at a upscale hotel. I was a waitress/bartender. Our age difference was 26 years and I guess I thought I would have an easy guy to wrap around my fingers and to lavish me with gifts.  Well all that wishful thinking backfired because he was cheap and pretty much took for granted all of the young fun sex I provided. He chiseled away at my self confidence until at one point my twisted mind began to crave him even more. When he moved  out of state I followed. I put myself completely out there and even left my kids with their father for 6 years. I lost the respect of everyone around me especially my coworkers. He had promised to help me pay my expenses but he lied and I finally realized one day while we were having sex right before he finished up he told me that that was all he could offer me. That helped me face the reality of my unrealistic world. I found the strength to say no more and left town. I did not date anymore and began to miss being a mother to my children. I asked my exhusband if he was willing to work through my crap and he said yes he would for the kids. I am happy to report that  we have been together for 13 years (remarried for 7)and are happy and run our own business together. my kids are 27 and 25 and doing very well. I still think of him from time but only to think about the years I cheated my family out of. If I had tyo do it over again I would never cheat with a married guy. Also I wish I could apologize to his wife for the terrible thing I did.  He brought me to his home when his wife was out of town and I slept in her bedand used her shower! I guess I could use this time to apologize... I am sorry from the bottom of my heart Mrs. D, I was wrong to seduce your scoundrel husband. I am glad I don't have a husband like yours. Please forgive me and I hope God will forgive me.

anmllvr anmllvr
46-50, F
9 Responses Dec 1, 2009

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Are you with a married man? Trust me, break it off now! It will hurt like hell but it can hurt like hell now or it can hurt like hell later, either way it is going to hurt! Might as well break it off now before you waste anymore time on this married man. He may send you flowers, candy, call you baby, tell you he loves you, makes future plans with you, plans trips with you, talks about moving in with you, goes apartment shopping for you, opens a seperate bank account, etc. All these things my MM did, by the way. A lot of people will tell you he lied to you, some of them do, but some of them get caught up in the moment, like you do. They aren't just lying to you, they are lying to themselves. They are living the fantasy, as you are, and you are eating it up. But that doesn't make it RIGHT! ACTIONS SPEAK LOUDER THAN WORDS and until he is already moved out with divorce papers in his hands, don't believe him! Don't waste your time ladies, if he hasn't left her by now, he won't leave her. And if you go tell his wife that he has been messing around, she doesn't always kick him out and that can backfire. I say TELL HER! His wife deserves to know, and then run...run far away. Make smart decisions and be strong ladies...you will get through it, I promise. It hurts now but you will get over it. Just learn from it and never ever date a married man again...EVER! Only 3% of men end up leaving their wife for the other woman. Trust me if he hasn't done it by now, he ain't doing it. You have a better chance of winning the lottery. You have to go through the storm before you see the rainbow and trust me ladies, BE STRONG, LET GO, MOVE ON...there is a rainbow!

Thank you for sharing this. I came on here today because i've been feeling extra lousy. This is the first story I read and it was just what I was looking for. My married man told me his wife will be gone for a few days next week and asked me if I wanted to spend the night with him. I said no. I know it may be hard to understand why..after all I am seeing a married man.. but sleeping where I wish I were sleeping (and thinking about her having no clue) would make me feel extra worthless. I love him and wish to one day be free to say it. Either way, I think I would regret as you do.<br />
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I am glad to hear everything worked out for you!

Thank you for your story an ..

Wow what a story, I am so amazed how loving someone we can not have can make us do some really short sighted things. Leaving your kids...I am not judging you. I am very glad you were able to go home. I bet you could teach all of us a few things by your experience. <br />
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I love a married man and am grateful that he lives in another state. Sad thing...he loves me back.

I think you should rethink that apology i think you went about it the wrong way, and yes you are lucky to have a husband that would be there even when you were not God must have forgiven you already!! God Bless!

I am in love with a married (well, committed anyway) man right now and you are making me rethink the whole thing. <br />
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I felt bad for the guy's poor wife when you were like "I am lucky to not have a husband like yours." You shouldn't belittle the guy's wife; you should just be glad yours took you back!

"seduce your scoundrel husband" dontyou think you had a part? <br />
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however i guess its good that you and YOUR family are doing well. be blessed & very happy for that . you both were in the wrong...howeve in the end at least you were honest

I was drawn to your story for a very strange reason. My wife used to love a married man. She used to love ME.<br />
I couldn't give her what she wanted and I have lost her.<br />
Tonight I am at this site for the first time, reading stories and writing comments to try to cope with my loss.<br />
My soon-to-be ex-wife is in another room of this house, not speaking to me other than to say that our relationship will end soon.<br />
I am probably as much of a jerk as the guy you used to love.<br />
I am just writing because I don't know how to go to the other room and ask my wife to love me again.<br />
Thanks for the honest story.