My First Love Found Me On Fb But He Is Married!
If I were a betting woman, never in a million years would I guess I would find myself here. 7 months ago I was minding my own business. Building my life with my children. Growing my home business not interested in dating. I got out of a not so great marriage and have been happy just being free for over 5 years.
I am on facebook but only for networking and friendships. NO dating. That is when a guy asked me out for drinks. He was very interesting so I wiggled around and decided to go. At the same time my first boyfriend contacted me after almost 30 years. He was a great guy. We never fought but just somehow faded apart.
He was coming into town and wanted to get together for lunch. I felt there was no harm in it and even felt he would help me prepare to meet the other guy for the date. I needed to practice and since he was married I felt he was totally safe. We began talking but not often. He arranged for us to meet for a sporting event...then reminded me that our first date was very similar. I met him, and instantly felt a teeny bit like kicking myself. He was handsome, fun, tall, well built, kind as ever...(but married) I was so envious but ever aware of his wife.
We had a delightful evening catching up. No funny business. He did reach out his hand to touch mine at one point but it was not making a move, it was more a kind gesture for the conversation. We hugged goodbye and he asked if we could get together again before he left.
I went home so happy, we talked about why we broke up. It released me from a lifetime of wondering.
I was not expecting that he would have an epiphany. He said that night he realized I was THE woman he has been dreaming of his entire life. Figuratively and literally. We began talking, he wanted to work together to write a book or a song or do something big. He felt there was a purpose for us to be in contact. I was excited to have his friendship and realized the visit opened up all those old wonderful free feelings. BUT he was married. IS married! He is married with 2 kids. His wife is very kind, not very pretty but very very good to him. But he does not feel IN LOVE. He is devoted to his family but is now having his feelings open up. We are walking a very tight rope at this point. We fortunately do not live in the same state so an active physical affair is not possible.
We began talking and talking for hours...via chat. He persued me like any woman would dream a man would. I began to forget he was married. We both did. We arranged to see each other again before he left to go back home. We kissed. We could not stop. We fell in love...fast and deep. He went home, told his wife he was not in love with her. She already knew. They are staying together for at least 2 years due to logistics...(and other things) Meanwhile he is trying to convince me that he wants to spend his life with me.
He contacts me daily, is arranging his life to make room for me and I want to be with him.
The thing that gets me is...what I am doing is really really ******. Falling in love with a married man. There are no 2 ways to slice it.
I love him, he loves me. He is married. Period end of story.