I Got Hit On Today...

I found myself at the chevron down the street today... i was really craving some sugar...the kind that could only be satisfied by disgusting banana twinkies that fulfill some primal craving i get during pms...so this white guy *quite the looker..comes in pays for his drink and walks out..no big deal...when i get out all i can think about is twinkies..and sure enough whitey is leaning on my car ..next thing I know he's talking shop to me... and its the most ackward talk of my life..he's waiting for some wiggle room to ask my name or number and i'm talking shop "umm yeah it gets good miles... oh no its not too big... oh yeah i do live around here... oh so you have a nice day... *quick exit* and i look in the rear mirror just to see if he's still there... ..lets be honest nobody cares to talk shop about a family sedan..lol

so here's the thing... my first instinct was to avoid him..my first instinct is to think of my Scotty... that's new to me..its been so long since i've been in a relationship where my position is clearly defined...i found myself feeling scared..should i be turning down anyone..should i avoid the situations that lead to new guys... and yet I find myself having an initial response of "i'm taken"...and its a beautifully complicated thing... i'm in a place where i should find comfort..i'm in a place where i know exactly where i stand... I am in a commited relationship and i'm Scared!