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The Gift Of Tenderness (guide To Being A Better Woman)

This is going to come as a shocker to most people who know of my relative disappointment in modern women, some have gone as far as to call me misogynist because they think l want them bowing down at the feet of earthly men, but indeed it is true, l will write it in BLOCK so that everyone can see, "l LOVE ALL WOMEN".



The root of my disappointment in modern women lies not in primitive misogynist-like thinking, you don't really think that lowly of me do you? Rather my disappointment lies in the very gift that God blessed all women with, the GIFT OF TENDERNESS, softness, that motherly tough that has raised even the strongest warriors since the time when they were just vulnerable and defenseless cute babies. Because this is such a dog eat dog, rough and tough world women are slowly shading their tenderness, every woman is born with it but some lose it as they grow older because of the different lemons life throws at them.



Ok, so let's look at how this loss of tenderness would affect a marriage, relationship or any woman. Women are evolutionarily the soft, more tender sex, her best skills lie in diversion and deflection, not in engagement. She knows her man, knows what he wants, how to make him feel good and even how to cool him down to a wet puppy when things get heated (by using her femininity). These days we see many women involved in shouting matches with their husbands, of course they have every right to get their point across but this isn't how to do it. You can never win shouting matches with a man because men are creatures that cannot handle intense emotional fluctuations like women, in the long run something inside him will snap and he will never see you the same again, you will always be the whinny stressful wife or girlfriend to him. When this happens he will start going where he gets less drama, more tenderness and softness, you know what that means right! so don't let it get that far :)



So how can women get back in tough with their tenderness? Well first of all they need to be with man that love them, sometimes women want men that do not fully love them, well let's just say l think this is a major mistake. Being with a man that loves you is not enough also, you have to do things that ENHANCE love and not DEGRAGE it. A fundamentally important aspect is knowing your man, you have to know your man, when not to challenge him and when there is need to, they need to know when and how to do it. When things are heated sometimes silence can beat the loudest shout, when a man is in a happy place there is no doubt that you can make him do anything so why not make your point then :) So work on your GIFT OF TENDERNESS, knowing your man and diversionary skills. Remember you want to make the person you love feel happy not angry.



Just to go a little off-topic a bit, I feel like the modern woman has the wrong perception of beauty also, beauty has a lot to do with confidence and how you carry yourself. You can't expect guys to find value in you if you don't find value in yourself, some people don't know this but it shows on your exterior, your body language, the way you talk and the way you generally act, if you have self-esteem problems guys will be able to tell, personally l can spot esteem problems from a mile away, SO LEARN TO LOVE YOURSELF. A good example is Madonna, even at her advanced age l would do her without wasting a second to think about it, so would many men. Weight can be lost but you need to believe you can do it, the biggest reason girls don't lose weight is because they are too depressed over it (but that's another story). So work on your inner confidence, self-esteem and the way you carry yourself and it will do wonders for your exterior. Realize that beauty doesn't guarantee happiness nor a good relationship, just a year ago one magazine voted J-LO to be the most beautiful woman in the world, God knows what kind of defective glasses they were wearing!, anyway J-lo has had 4 divorces already, so definitely beauty doesn't guarantee happiness or good relationships, so even if you were more beautiful it wouldn't guarantee that you would have been happier. Be happy with what you are, who you are.



I do indeed realize that there is a lot wrong with men as well. Women also need to raise their voice about this, raise the flag on it, even if it's as simple as a small writing like mine. The woman is going through a transition but what benefit is a transition when you are headed in the wrong direction??? The woman needs us now more than ever :)
THE GIFT OF TENDERNESS, l love all women :)
deleted deleted 26-30 7 Responses Nov 4, 2012

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I think many women are tender but display a mask to the outside world.

I'm curious David. What, as a man, would YOU do to make A WOMAN happy =) ?

I get the point of your story. Sometimes I wonder if women changed or if society made them change. Being a woman these days, seems not as easy as it used to be.
I can't help but feeling as if men expect everything from us. I'm not saying all men are like that.
Truth is, in my opinion, emancipation has a lot to do with the loss of tenderness throughout the years. I'm happy to say I still have a lot of it to give but sometimes, when I had all these frustrations from working, house-keeping, etc... I can understand why a lot of women have lost the tenderness. Women want to be treated the way men are, but if the loss of tenderness is a consequence from that, then I'm not sure if we are heading in the right direction either =)

XD David, if you want to be friends with me, why don't you invite me yourself ;-) that's what most people would do if they wanted to be friends =p

I'm glad to hear you think of men and women equally, in my country men sometimes still feel superior to us (they still get payed more for doing the exact same job).

Well said David..

I take your idealistic, primative, generalized view of what a woman should be and wipe my "tender" *** with it!
Stay off my whitboard, i'm not interested.

You are a smart guy with a good heart. I wish you'd let people see that more.

You have written a good and thought provoking story. A lot of what you say is true. I enjoy being a woman, a mother a wife. I agree women have to hang onto their tender empathetic side and not be robbed of it. It is easy to become bitter when you dare show it but don't lose it as it is a gift . A gift you can share with your children and spouse.as well as others. You have to find happiness in yourself and this gives you strength you can draw upon all your days. Good thoughts in your story Thanks for writing it

I've got some complaints about men - do your own laundry, do your own chores, stop asking me for a massage when you sit on a mower all day while i run around with the weedwhacker and blower, get ME a coffee in the morning, shut up when i ask for new panties and socks i know you spent all the money on truck parts but my shoes have holes in them! And for God's sake, let me finish my work without making me 'look look look look look look look LOOK' at the TV. There. I feel better now. Aside from all that, i have to say that every relationship will have it's trials to overcome, but time tends to bring people closer together, and you can learn to look past someone's faults. Chill out with the expectations.