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Beginning Battles

My husband and I have been married just over a year, October 2007, we have a beautiful 15 mo old daughter. (We have been together 6 years, and made it official when I was 6 mo pregnant) I should have known a long time ago that he had a drinking problem. The problem was we were both so young I didn’t realize it was a problem and not just social behavior. 6 enlightening years later we are taking the first steps together toward recovery. He progressed continuously from social drinking to drinking more heavily, to drinking alone. His current predicament puts him at a liter of rum every night, buying 2 bottles on Saturday to accommodate the laws here prohibiting the sale of liquor on Sunday. I work nights so my daughter doesn’t have to be in daycare, and I have feared that he gets too drunk to care for her should she wake up. I know he stays sober till she goes to sleep (and has slept through the night since she was 5 weeks) but after that it’s no holds barred until he is passed out on the couch.  I have grown accustomed to coming home to him passed out on the couch and going to bed alone. I have feared for his life that he will stop breathing during the night; I have feared that my daughter will need him and he won’t hear her. So this morning my mother and I intervened and he agreed that he needed help, and checked voluntarily into our hospital for inpatient detox and help. Honestly I am so scared, I don’t know what to expect, I want so badly to talk to him, to see him, and my daughter wants her daddy. But I don’t know what to say, how to support him, I want desperately to be there for him, but I feel more alone now than I ever have.  I am praying that this will be the first step toward getting our family back to where it needs to be. I have arranged for us to move closer to family in a month, I am looking for a day job, so I can be near him at night, but it all seems to be crashing in on me. Truth be told, it kinda makes me want a drink, and I don’t drink!

-Ace
aceofhearts aceofhearts 26-30 2 Responses Apr 26, 2008

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You are doing a good job Ace. Family is the most important thing in the world-- without it we are alone... I'm here if you need to talk.

Hang in there, Ace. You got lucky. At least he was willing to get help. Many of us haven't been that fortunate. Continue to stand by him as long as he is trying and making progress. It's worth it to your family. My prayers are with you all.