For Women Who Pick The Wrong Men

This article I found really helped me. My bf always loves to talk to me about me, and he's said some of the same things that this article discusses, but in different terms. His mantra is, something like, 'you need what you don't want, and you want, what you don't need, but sometimes, you can't 'hear' things when they're put one way, but are perfectly clear in other terms. Here's the link:

Standing back, and looking at my Redwood Forrest of a life, I see that I've consistently fallen for the wrong men, as many women tend to do. It's funny how I silently tsk, tsk at my girlfriends, and fail miserably to see my own ridiculous, albeit biologically driven behavior. My profile is, 6'4", preferably, dark chocolate, wasp waisted, wide shoulders, bass voiced, bad boy...x that...bad **********...There, I said it. One of the most recent was a caramel variety, who I gave my heart to on a silver platter, only for him to say, umph, that's nice, and enjoy my body for his pleasures whilst he bellowed about his x-wife ignoring all the love I was giving him. "Poor, poor baby", I thought. I'll just have to save him. Right. No Christmas presents, total screw up on new years, couldn't even produce a cup of coffee after I'd driven an hour to see him. All the signs were there, and I was still Estrogen blinded by his Testosterone.

I'm in sales, but I'm new to it. I learned a concept called, 'The Takeaway'. There's nothing that grabs a customer better than that: 'Well, if you don't want it, we have...blah, blah blah, who will. If you don't want it, we'll, blah, blah, blah'  Well, when a man is somehow, unavailable, not calling me, basically letting me know that his product is so great that I can come and get it if I want to, I fall! What a sucka!!  To the man who's tripping over himself to prove his love to me, I yawn, play bad girl, and do my best to run the other direction. What's the hell is that about? Well, after almost 40 years, I think I've learned my lesson. I have a gorgeous man falling over himself, to prove his love for me. He's got a lot of assets. Though he's not my physical profile, he's handsome...not 6'4", but tall enough. I know in my heart, he's in it for the long run, and isn't doing the 'Takeaway', but has actually laid his heart out on a silver platter for my taking. I'd be a fool to turn away. So I'm not. I refuse to continue follow my hormonally driven road rage. I'm going to give love a real try this time a man who appreciates the love I have to give him, and for whom I don't have to chase and wonder about every minute of the day.

I hope you'll read the article...ladies especially. I look forward to your comments.
TheRightFitforLife TheRightFitforLife
46-50, F
1 Response Dec 2, 2012

I always find a lot of young women, well women in general fall under this same category. Having said that I know a lot of men that do the same too. Picky picky picky... Tut tut tut... Lol.

I have learnt and am still learning to appreciate those that appreciate me, maybe not equally as much, but close enough to be good enough. Mutuality is one word that comes to mind. Forget trying to "prove your worth" constantly to win someone's affections. Constantly going outside yourself to be that somebody that someone else wants you to be. Chasing after someone that does not realise who or what is right in front of them.

I think your boyfriend is right. I have also heard it said many times before. What we need we usually don't want, and what we want we usually don't need. Seperating desires from needs often comes at a price. What we need often doesn't look as glamourous or exciting as what we want.

"Where have all the good men/women gone..." I hear them say. I always say, "Right there in front of us. We so often miss them because they do not resemble our IDEAL mate. So more often than not we overlook them." They're the one's that are probably a little bit safe. A little bit "boring" perhaps. A little bit plain and simple. Very rarely do you find one such "good man/woman" who looks like the life of a party. It seems to me to be a contradiction in terms almost. Not saying that you have to be boring to be considered a "good person". Just saying, those that would be considered "good partners" are OFTEN times, not all the time, a little bit on the boring and uncomplicated side.

That's what I think anyway. I'll stop there for now.

Since the writing of this story, my Love and I have parted. Funny, some of the very assets he claimed to have, were the very things he was lacking, and ultimately doomed the relationship to fail. I had to follow my gut, and leave him, but I'm even wiser, and stronger. He loved me, but just wasn't good for me in several ways...very sad...licking my wounds.

Thank you Scorp... I haven't been here obviously in a long while.