I Learn From My Past This Way

I spent 2 and a half years in a loveless marriage where every day I ignored the obvious and just went through life, putting on a fake smile and acting like everything was okay.  I didn't think about it, I didn't talk about it, I ignored any problems, and I bottled it all up until I was dead inside.

After my divorce, I realized I don't ever want that to happen again.  I don't want to go into a relationship and not back out just because routine is comfortable.  So, I have tried hard to make sure that doesn't happen again, and one of the things I do a lot of is self analysis.  Being the untrusting, emotionally unavailable recluse that I am, it is easier to just look at myself, ask myself what the **** was I thinking, slap myself, and work to never do it again.  Maybe, one day, I will trust someone enough to try talking through my problems rather than just ignoring them, bottling them up, and dealing with them myself.

SpiritualFighter SpiritualFighter
26-30, M
Feb 24, 2010